Support lacking after LV shooting
DEAR AMY >> My son-in-law was shot in the thigh during the Las Vegas concert in October. Fortunately, he is now OK.
I belong to a religious congregation of around 35 families. One of the women in my congregation and I are also part of another (affiliated) group.
At a meeting of the group, I mentioned the shooting to this woman. She said I should contact the president of the organization. I received much warmth and support from members of this group. The president sent a memo to the entire religious congregation — I know this because I am on the email list.
What happened next? Nothing! Not one person contacted me to see if he was OK, if I was OK, etc.
I am very hurt. Part of me wants to just silently quit the congregation. Part of me wants to tell them how hurt I was, and then quit the congregation, and part of me wants to carry on like nothing happened.
Your advice? — Troubled
DEAR TROUBLED >> You should reach out to your clergy member regarding your concern. Say that your family has been through a frightening, dramatic and traumatic event, and that you would appreciate support during this challenging time.
Be frank and respectful with clergy when you describe your disappointment, even after this email went out. This is very much a pastoral matter, and your clergy should explain why your needs have been neglected, thus far.
This monstrous gunman killed 58 people and wounded more than 500 others, many of whom are still trying to recover.
You might take this opportunity to inspire the congregation not only to care more fully about you, but to extend their compassion to the scores of other family members affected by this senseless tragedy.
After you talk with clergy, you might inspire the congregation by sharing the opportunity to donate to the “Music City Cares Fund,” established by the Community Foundation of Middle Tennessee (cfmt.org). This highly rated foundation has pledged that 100 percent of donations made to the Music City Cares Fund will go directly to families impacted by the worst mass shooting in American history.
You don’t say what your faith practice is, but you should consider the possibility that many of them have lifted up private thoughts to you.
The test for you is to see if you can get what you need by asking for it (instead of “shooting your mouth off”). I hope your faith community rises to this simple challenge with compassion.