Dropping hints about the ring

DEAR MISS MANNERS >>

My fiancé is about to buy my engagement ring. He knows I like jewelry, so he always gets me that as a gift. That being said, he apparently doesn’t really understand my taste. What is the polite way to tell him if I dislike the ring, or should I even do that?

GENTLE READER >>

Not if you want this engagement to lead to marriage, let alone to more jewelry.

As you know the ring is forthcoming, Miss Manners suggests that you set about quickly complimenting the things that you do like about the jewelry your fiancé has already given you. Specifics that are also sufficiently vague — like “I love round stones” or “I prefer a classic style” — are useful, while also giving him some room to make his own decisions. Or he may give up in desperation and ask you to take over. Seemingly your preferred option.

DEAR MISS MANNERS >>

We are getting ready to celebrate my daughter’s quinceanera, and have decided not to serve alcohol for many reasons. My mother was mortified when she learned this, and keeps pressuring me to provide alcohol.

She does not drink; however, she insists that the only reason guests attend such celebrations is to drink, and that guests will be disappointed.

Although I have put my foot down on the issue, I want to know if it’s rude not to offer alcohol at such events. Should I let guests know in advance so they can make the choice themselves, and not be disappointed when they arrive? Should it be printed in the invitations?

I say that if guests truly care about my daughter, they will attend regardless, and if they only want to attend for free alcohol, then we are probably better off without them. GENTLE READER >> If it is possible, hold this event during the day and call it a brunch or a tea. Alcohol will be less expected.