Making a move with school-aged kids
A new National Association of Realtors (NAR) report indicates that the biggest concern for home sellers with children is that their home be sold within a specific time frame, primarily due to a desire to have children settled before a new school year begins. While the report may be accurate in other parts of the country, there is some question as to whether it applies to the Bay Area.
Real estate veteran Laura Martell of Daniel Winkler and Associates in Albany has a nickname. It’s Laura “tell it like it is” Martell, and nothing could be truer. When told about the NAR report, she laughed. After 13 years of selling real estate, Martell says that nothing about the Bay Area can be compared to other parts of the country.
“13 years ago it really was driven by the school year, “Martell said. “It’s just not that way anymore. In recent years, sales have slipped in the months of June, July, and August.”
According to Martell, many of those who can afford to purchase a home in the Bay area are so affluent that traditional rules don’t apply. Some prefer to focus on family and vacation during summer months rather than frantically worry about getting into a home before the school year begins. It may help that these same families often enroll their children in private schools where they have a greater sense that the kids will be actively aided throughout the adjustment period.
Martell says that the competitive nature of buying a home in the Bay Area means that priorities have changed. When there were plenty of homes on the market buyers could dictate when they moved. Today, most mid-priced buyers are simply happy to get into a home, no matter what time of year it is.
Whether a child is able to enroll at the beginning of the school year or has to adapt mid-year, Dr. Olaf Jorgenson says that parents can help ease the transition. Dr. Jorgenson is the Head of School at the private Almaden Country Day School in San Jose, but has taught in the public school system and understands how both work.
Whether a kid is going to attend public or private school, Jorgenson says that with the right “front-loading” parents can help their children feel comfortable.
“Logistically, it is helpful if parents familiarize their child with the campus. That can be as simple as showing her where she’s going to be dropped off and picked up and showing her where her classroom is.”
Jorgenson said that it is particularly helpful for parents to help their children meet peers in order to build relationships before beginning school. One way to do this is to post on a local parenting site. “Just let other parents know that you’re new to the area and want your child to meet other kids her age. Even if she knows just two or three people on her first day of class, it makes it so much easier.”
According to Jorgenson, the administration at most schools — public or private — are happy to help new students adjust any way they can. Parents simply need to reach out and share their concerns. He also suggests that newcomers ask their Realtor about resources that will allow them to meet other families with children.
For a private school like Almaden Country Day School, the reception a new student receives may be surprising. “Many of these students are together from preschool to 8th grade,” Jorgenson said. “A new student here is like a VIP. They’re a big attraction, which actually makes the transition easier.”
Jorgenson’s school organizes play dates for new families, pairing them with established families over the summer. They also allow potential students to spend two full days in school with the children who would be their classmates so that they already know other kids when they do enroll.
Of course, not every school offers the same new student services. According to Jorgenson, that is okay. “What I tell parents is that it’s not what happens to our children that matters, but what we make of it. They’re watching us and learning from us.”
According to Jorgenson, even though transitioning to a new job and community is stressful for parents, it’s really just a moment in a child’s life. “When parents dump their adult-sized anxiety on a child that moment turns into an event and they teach their child to turn a little deal into a big deal.”
He likens it to when a toddler falls on his bottom and looks to a parent for reassurance. If the parent smiles and encourages him, the toddler is likely to smile. If the parent gasps and frets, the toddler turns the moment into an event and begins to wail.
The bottom line, when it comes to moving with kids is that their experience can be eased by how their parents approach it. Jorgenson sums it up by saying, “You’re going to be stressed, but be mindful that your children are watching you. It is not what happens that matters, but what we make of it.”