Comments are not welcome

DEAR MISS MANNERS >> I am currently 25 weeks pregnant with my first child. My husband and I are absolutely thrilled, and have made a decision not to find out the gender of our baby. Since I have started showing in the last few weeks, I have noticed how people think they have free rein to make comments on my body and appearance, simply because I am pregnant.

I know most of these comments are innocent and mean no harm. But I’ve heard everything from “You’re blossoming!” (not so bad) to “I’ve been looking at your backside to see if your bottom is wobbling.”

Most of these comments allude to these people trying to guess the gender of our baby. I even had two women look me up and down and then make their assessment out loud: “Your legs don’t look any bigger, so it must be a girl!”

The most confusing part is that almost every comment that I’ve received has come from a mother. Shouldn’t these women know better than to judge pregnant women’s bodies? Not only is it rude and something they probably wouldn’t say to someone who isn’t pregnant, but it really makes an impact when you’re already self-conscious about the way your changing body looks.

Is there a way to stave off these comments nicely? Most of these people are family or co-workers and I don’t want to cause problems with a snarky comeback. GENTLE READER >> Snark is all in the delivery. Miss Manners asks you to remove it from your voice when you give these people the satisfaction of what they really want from you: a request for advice.

“Really? Did you find that the size of your legs were a credible predictor of your baby’s gender?”

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.