It’s all about sippy cups, trains and fatherhood
It’s not uncommon for moms to get together for play dates, but dads? Not so much, as evidenced by statistics from the community network Meetup.com. The company’s web site said it hosts more than 5,500 mom meetup groups worldwide that have more than 974,000 members.
In contrast, it lists only 630 meetup groups for dads,with just more than 92,000 members.
One of those groups is in Campbell. Jonathan Lai started the Campbell Dads Meetup in late March for new and expectant dads, and anyone interested in “the fatherhood life.”
“Being a new dad is a very special time in life,” Lai said. “The reason I started this group is to get dads out of isolation, so hopefully we’re blazing a new trail.”
Lai’s meetups are at a downtown Campbell plaza that’s adjacent to the light rail line because his 22-month-old son Zachary “loves buses and trains, anything with wheels,” he said.
Zachary arrived with sippy cup in hand, excitement written all over his face every time a train sped by.
“I feel like I’ve given up all my hobbies. I don’t have time for things like basketball anymore,” Lai said. “He can make me anxious, so this is one way to stay sane. It’s also an opportunity to talk about things you can’t talk to your wife or boss about.”
Lai’s wife is expecting the couple’s second child in October and he was seeking advice from his meetup buddies on “how to tell your boss you have to leave at 5 because your wife is nauseous all the time.”
Stay-at-home dad Matthew Batz was the first new dad to respond to Lai’s meetup invitation, arriving with 9-month-old Ella.
“Jonathan and I met on meetup,” Batz said. “I guess I joined for the social part of it. I’m a teacher, but I’m taking a year off to raise Ella, so I just want to get out of the house and have adult conversations.”
Then he brags, “Ella just learned to clap,” and joined a conversation about pre-schools.
Meanwhile, 4-year-old Achyuth Krishnan was busy running around, practicing Kung Fu moves and, from the looks of it, having a grand young time.
“Papa, ants are scared of humans, aren’t they,” Achyuth said before scampering off.
Dad Vijay Krishnan said, “He has so much energy, I’m trying to find ways to wear him out. It’s just so beautiful to see him playing around.”
Krishnan is the third member of the Campbell group.
Experienced meetup dad Chuck Hammers belongs to the Los Gatos Wolves Meetup group that was formed in 2002.
“It’s been really valuable,” Hammers said. “Guys don’t connect well like moms do. Guys tend to come home and watch sports if they don’t have a structured way to socialize with each other.”
Most Los Gatos Wolves members have kids in elementary and middle school.
“The kids drop out in high school, but the dads still want to do things and sometimes we’ll bring the older boys and dads back together,” Hammers
said.
The Wolves come together for everything from paintball outings to campouts and fishing trips.
“We do an event about once a month and two campouts a year,” Hammers said. “In July, we’re going
on a fishing trip to Mexico.”
Wolves meetups happen when a member posts an item on the calendar.