Finally, a president with guts to take on Canada
WASHINGTON » O Canada: You had it coming, eh.
They inflicted Nickelback on us. We did nothing.
They sent us Justin Bieber. We turned the other cheek.
They were responsible for one abomination after the other: Poutine. Diphthong vowels. Hawaiian pizza. Instant mashed potatoes. Ted Cruz.
Still, we did not retaliate — until now.
Finally, the United States has a president with the brains and the guts to stand up to the menace of the north. This weekend President Trump called Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau “meek,” “very dishonest & weak” for protesting U.S. tariffs. Trump’s trade adviser said “there’s a special place in hell” for Trudeau, and Trump’s economic adviser said Trudeau “stabbed us in the back” and is guilty of “betrayal” and “double-crossing.”
How do you feel now, Canada?
Trudeau earned his place in the underworld for some truly appalling rhetoric, saying “We’re polite, we’re reasonable, but we also will not be pushed around.” He also found it “kind of insulting” that the Trump administration said it was imposing tariffs on Canadian goods “for a national security reason” given that Canadians “stood shoulder to shoulder with American soldiers in far off lands in conflicts from the First World War onward.”
Trudeau conveniently omits the invasion of Detroit from Canada in 1812. And there was that ugly dispute in 1844
when soon-to-be President James K. Polk wanted the U.S. border north to Alaska but was forced to accept the 49th parallel.
Trump punished Canada by withdrawing the United States from the communique of the weekend’s G-7 meeting hosted by Trudeau, which is loaded with objectionable provisions such as “a clean environment,” “a healthy, prosperous, sustainable and fair future for all,” “quality work environments,” “a more peaceful and secure world” and “ending violence against girls and women.” In other words, it’s like all the other bad, one-sided deals that make us a global laughingstock — such as the North American Free Trade Agreement, the Trans-Pacific Partnership, NATO, the Paris climate accord and the Iran nuclear deal.
In a further insult, the G-7 leaders had no enthusiasm for Trump’s call for readmitting Russia, which was kicked out of the club for invading Ukraine. The G-7 leaders instead criticized Trump’s “fits of anger.”
Inexplicably, these foreigners are not putting America First. Trump needs to make his own G-8 — the Great Eight — with more sympathetic world leaders:
Rodrigo Duterte of the Philippines, who enjoys “a great relationship” with Trump as he deploys extralegal killing squads.
North Korea’s Kim Jong Un, who’s “very honorable” in running the most repressive regime on Earth.
Egyptian dictator Abdel Fatah al-Sissi, who became a “fantastic guy” with his bloody crackdown on dissidents.
The Saudi regime, which has been “tremendous” as it purges business leaders and critics.
Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan, who is “getting very high marks” as he jails opponents.
China’s premier, Xi Jinping, who did something “great” in making himself president for life.
And, of course, Russian President Vladimir Putin, receiving a congratulatory call from Trump after his “election.”
There is no room in this G-8 for Britain, France, Germany, Italy or Japan — and certainly not Canada. Given Canadians’ well-known instability — their currency is called the “loonie” — there’s only one solution: We are going to build a wall from Maine to Alaska — and Ottawa is going to pay.