Delicate problem with the boss

DEAR MISS MANNERS » My boss tucks his shirt into his underwear so that you can sometimes read the underwear brand on the elastic in the front. Is there anything to be done?

GENTLE READER

» A lady does not discuss a gentleman’s underwear — unless she is his wife and is letting him know that she is throwing it out. If a gentleman co-worker is available, Miss Manners recommends you enlist his help in pointing out the problem — as long as he promises to do so discreetly.

DEAR MISS MANNERS » My niece and her husband were married nearly two years ago, and we have been made aware that they never sent thankyou cards for many of the gifts they received. This breach of etiquette was made known from guests inquiring of us about whether we knew if the couple had received their wedding gifts.

Now they are expecting their first child, and I know they will want the Aunties to host a baby shower, as is our family custom. Frankly, we are embarrassed and reluctant to send out invitations to another gift event for them, knowing how hurt/ignored many felt not to have their previous gifts acknowledged. I know of no polite way to tell my niece that this is a problem, and yet I really don’t want to host and thereby sanction their rude behavior.

GENTLE READER » As loving Aunties — and soon to be Grand-Aunties — you are in the unique position to help this couple maintain goodwill amongst friends and family.

“We would love to host a shower for you, but want to make sure that you have the time to acknowledge presents if the guests bring them. Perhaps we can help you gather addresses and facilitate letter-writing.”

If this plan is met with resistance, then Miss Manners authorizes you to defer hosting the party.