Daughter’s race to see her daddy on his deathbed

Q After all these opinions about the term “Road Boulder,” I need equal time, Mr. R.

— Jan Richards, Mrs. Roadshow

A And now from the woman who long ago coined the phrase Road Boulder to describe drivers who refuse to move right to let faster traffic pass:

One Road Boulder might have kept me from reaching my dad in the final minutes of his life. It was an Iowa Road Boulder. I’d known when I saw my dad on his last birthday that his time was limited. I knew then, too, that I was going to do everything I could to get to Iowa for his final days. Gary could not go, due to health issues. But he and the kids supported my decision to try to be with my dad at the end, though others said, “It’s not practical.”

“I have to try,” I replied.

I quickly booked a trip. My sister-in-law texted updates as I traveled: “He’s fading. We told him you’re coming. I’m not sure he’ll last.”

On the final stretch when Dad was still, but barely alive, two cars blocked the two-lane road between Des Moines and Ames, traveling for miles abreast. I’m not sure what finally made the woman in the fast line move to the right, but when she did, I flew the rest of the way, trying mightily to make it to Dad before his final breaths.

I pulled into the lot just outside his room, and texted my sister-inlaw that I was there. She hurried out, we hugged and burst into tears. “You made it!” she said.

I ran to Dad’s side, thanked him for waiting and quietly told him how much we loved him, how much he had done for so many people in his long, good life. And I told him that he could go when he was ready. His breathing slowed and the nurse told me it wouldn’t be long. His breaths became more shallow, and then, very quietly, ended. I had made it in time to spend his last 45 minutes with him.

There were so many places on that journey when, with one little delay piling on top of another — including the Iowa Road Boulder — that I could easily have been prevented me from reaching my dad in his final moments. Road Boulders do not know what is going on for other drivers, and do not need to. It is not their role to be the judge. Road Boulders, and the people trying to get around them, do not have the right, of course, to put others at risk on the road.

Did I speed on that April night when I was trying to reach Dad? Yes. And I would do it again. I was putting no one at risk on that quiet interstate, as I tried mightily to reach Dad. Those few final moments were precious in the relay between life and death, knowing that as I said goodbye, my brother and mother were in the next world, waiting to greet him there.