Parents and vaccine worries
DEAR AMY » I’m about to have my first child. My partner and I are very excited!
My brother and his partner have a young child. They have chosen not to vaccinate.
While I am not looking to get into a vaccine debate with them, I have some concerns about letting their young child come into close proximity with my newborn.
We plan to vaccinate our child, although I know that there are some vaccines that are not administered until our child reaches a certain age.
Prior to our baby receiving those vaccines, I feel very uneasy exposing the baby to children who are unvaccinated. I want to make it clear to my brother and his partner that I do not want their child around mine, until mine has been vaccinated. But I don’t want to upset them or worse yet, get into a debate about vaccines with them.
How should I approach this delicate topic without upsetting anyone? DEAR WORRIED » Your job as a parent is to use your best judgment to do what is best for your family.
Your brother and his partner are using their own judgment, and have their own reasons, for denying their child vaccines.
According to my research, including conversations with pediatricians as well as recommendations published by many reputable sources, your unvaccinated baby is in a high-risk group for vaccine-preventable diseases.
You should be aware of the risks and consider limiting contact with unvaccinated children, possibly until your child is a year old. But obviously, you should speak with your child’s physician regarding this risk, including recommendations about what constitutes “contact.” Can your child be in the same room with this other child?
“Herd immunity” means that this other unvaccinated child is likely being protected by the vaccinated people surrounding them. (Your choice to vaccinate helps to protect other children from disease.)
Assume that you will have to have at least one conversation with these other parents regarding your own choice. Pass along your doctor’s recommendations using neutral language, and say that you will follow the doctor’s advice. (Pediatricians report that they don’t mind being cast as the “bad guy” in this conversation.)
Understand that there is a possibility, if not a likelihood, that your baby will be exposed to other unvaccinated children without you being aware of it — but you are aware of this risk among your family members.
Having this conversation may in fact upset some family members, but the risk to your child from “upset” is less than the risk of whooping cough, measles, flu and other diseases.