Living with folks not a turn-on

DEAR AMY » I’m an attractive 29-yearold gay man. I couldn’t afford my own place, due to overwhelming student loan debt and other financial issues. I moved back in with my parents, and have been living with them for over a year.

My dating life has taken the hardest hit. I have a good job and I take care of myself. However, I’m always embarrassed to bring up the fact that I live with my parents. I feel as if they will judge me. Oftentimes, I lie and say I live in my own place in the city (which is no way to start off any relationship).

I don’t want this to stop me from dating. However, it doesn’t help that I compare myself to other gay men who have nice apartments and are more financially stable.

Obviously, moving out is a goal, but I’d like to start dating — sooner rather than later.

How do I get over this? — Wondering DEAR WONDERING » The student debt crisis has forced many adults into uncomfortable situations; I suggest that you own this, with humor.

You say, “That’s right — I’m an attractive, well-employed 29-yearold man living the dream of cohabiting with my folks! Every day I wake up in my old bedroom, stare at my old Lance Bass poster and head out to work. The upside is — I’m paying down college debt and due to move out soon. Plus, sometimes my mom lets me have Lucky Charms for breakfast.”

DEAR AMY » What’s your advice on how to survive extreme loneliness?

I am alone in the world. I have no parents, siblings or extended family.

I have teenage children who visit me for a couple of hours each week, but I am more like a grandmother to them than a mother. They are part of their father’s family, not mine.

And although I am a fairly attractive woman, I have not been able to find a boyfriend, despite meeting almost 100 men through online dating sites throughout the years.

I have a few friends, and go to meetups and even organize them. I do enjoy myself at times, but at the end of the day I am alone.

It is taking a toll on me. And although I am not suicidal now, I feel like if this loneliness goes on for another 10 years or so, I will be. — Lonely in the ’Burbs DEAR LONELY » You present a few clues to your predicament, but don’t provide details. Your children, for instance — you don’t live with them and don’t seem to have much of a relationship with them. And the 100 men you’ve met through online matching sites — presumably there were opportunities there, which you seem to have missed.

The most obvious solution for you would be to get a housemate. Many people your age (and older) don’t want to live alone, and, just as the internet has helped to match you with potential romances, you can use this resource to find potential housemates. Several sites specialize in roommate matching specifically. Also put the word out among people you know.