Couple wants to resist Mom’s church marketing

DEAR AMY >> What can be done about my boyfriend’s overly religious mother, who repeatedly invites us to attend her church? She has invited us ever since we started dating, but now the pressure is really on.

Her very small congregation (15 to 25 people) is actively looking to expand.

The pastor has tasked every church member with contacting family, friends and neighbors as a way to garner new congregants. Now we both receive phone calls and mailers from her about church events, tent revivals, etc.

I am about ready to stop taking her phone calls. Both of us have said that we’re not interested numerous times.

We are both agnostic, and I am from a nonreligious family. The last time this subject came up, I told her that if I ever felt the need to go to church, the first place would be my grandparent’s church.

Any thoughts?

— No Church for Me

DEAR NO CHURCH >> I have a suggestion for you: Never walk into a used car lot alone, because you are unwittingly ripe for the plucking.

The mistake you seem to have made with this woman’s earnest marketing was to actually dangle the prospect of church. When you said, “If I ever felt the need to go to church...” what she heard was, “I’m thinking about it!” You should say to her, one time: “It worries me that you keep asking me to attend your church. I respect that you are religious and love your church. But I’m not a Christian. I don’t go to church, so I hope you’ll stop asking.”

Mailers can be recycled. Phone calls can be dodged.

DEAR AMY >> “Frustrated” shared her heartbreaking ordeal of having her (currently sober) heroin-addicted daughter living with her and her husband — possibly for the rest of their lives.

You suggested that they might be able to renovate their house inexpensively in order to give everyone some privacy.

Dang! I thought this was both practical and possible. I didn’t expect it. DEAR FAN >> Breaking up spaces can sometimes help to keep relationships intact.