Woman’s partner hates her kid

DEAR AMY >> I’m

51 years old, and have been in a relationship for over three years with a man who hates my grown daughter and her 10-year-old son (my grandson).

My daughter was

16 when she had my grandson. I was a single mom, and the two of them lived with me for a few years. She eventually got into low-income housing.

She doesn’t drink, smoke or party. She works hard, and struggles to get by.

I pay for her car insurance and phone bill. This is why my boyfriend says he hates her. He says this takes away from us.

I own my own house, my car is paid for and I pay my bills. I also have savings. He pays for the electric and heat at the house. I buy 90 percent of the groceries.

He has moved out three times in the past year, and says it is because of her. He’s mean to my grandson. He can’t even look at my daughter.

They don’t know the whole truth, but I’m sure they feel his tension. He brings this up every day.

He has three kids and only has a relationship with one of his kids — the others won’t speak to him. Do I need to get him out of my life? — Put-Upon DEAR PUT-UPON >>

I take it as a given that every story has two sides. Maybe you enable your daughter in ways you haven’t described. Maybe your daughter and grandson are openly disrespectful toward your boyfriend.

However, none of this matters, really, because judging from the tone and content of your question you don’t actually love this guy. And frankly, from your description, he sounds quite unlovable. He doesn’t pull his own weight. He bullies you. He is an enemy to your close and meaningful family relationships. And he keeps leaving you.

Keep your daughter and grandson. Give this guy the boot.

DEAR AMY >> I am seeking advice on “petiquette.” I’m a dog mom. During the day my dog is in day care, but the nights present more of a challenge.

I work full time and I am single, but I still choose to have a dog because of the proven emotional and fitness benefits that correlate to owning four-legged friends.

Lately, I’ve been wondering whether my dog can come along with me in atypical settings such as to Bible study, to hair appointments and to other venues that are not conspicuously dog-friendly. I live in Denver, and our city is extremely dog-friendly, but I fear that the culture here could be desensitizing me to what is otherwise unacceptable social behavior elsewhere. What is appropriate? — Wondering DEAR WONDERING >> I generally equate dogs with human toddlers. Like toddlers, dogs are lovable, loving and often well-behaved. But they can be inconsistent. Their behavior can be unpredictable. Call your salon in advance and ask what its policy is regarding dogs.

You should also ask your fellow Bible study members how they would feel about you bringing your dog.