Bellower should come to bellow-ee

DEAR MISS MANNERS »

My husband and I moved into a house with two stories. When he calls to me from the other floor, I frequently can’t understand him, so I have taken to calling back, “Honey, I can’t hear you. If you’re trying to ask me something, you need to come into this room.”

He thinks that if I can’t understand him, then I should just come to where he is. I say that it’s the onus of the original bellower to come to the bellow-ee. I hate repeatedly calling back, “What?

What?” and then putting down whatever I’m doing just to go upstairs and learn I’ve been summoned to tell him, for example, that “Yes, I did buy toothpaste.”

GENTLE READER » With some exceptions, the responsibility for being in a position to be understood lies with the person initiating the communication. In other words, the bellower. In saying that there are exceptions, Miss Manners is thinking of the bedridden — not those who lack patience, empathy or volume control.

DEAR MISS MANNERS » While I was shopping in a store, a patron entered wearing a T-shirt with the following message: “Shut the F Up.” I was, of course, dismayed, and more so when the store’s employees didn’t request that the person leave the premises.

Why has this become acceptable? At the St. Louis barbecue festival, I saw a 30-something man wearing a T-shirt that said “St. F-ing Louis.” It’s becoming a very ugly world.

GENTLE READER » Unfortunately, our rights to free speech extend to vulgar T-shirts. How ironic, however, that the first shirt you mention rudely demanded that you stifle yours.

If you feel the need to politely assert your own First Amendment rights, Miss Manners recommends you say in a loud voice, “Oh dear, I did not realize St. Louis had changed its name. I guess I won’t be going there.”