The Mercury News

Woman ready to roar for rights

- Ask Amy — Woman Ready to Roar — Been There Contact Amy Dickinson via email at askamy@ amydickins­on.com.

DEAR AMY >> I grew up in a very progressiv­e city. Gender equality always seemed like a historical issue that had been resolved. I never felt any concern that being a female would negatively impact my life.

Now, graduated from college and out in the real world, I finally get it. My supervisor and his manager had discussed promoting me, but in a 90 percent male company, they were concerned I would not be respected as a female in a higher position. And they actually told me this!

My disbelief was met by condescend­ing assurances that they were protecting my best interests. I’ve been trying to think of how to best address this.

This afternoon, a man I was with was mocked for allowing me to speak on his behalf. We walked away, but with everything at work, I feel I finally understand the (in)equality issue.

What can I do to help bring equality and respect to women both in the workplace and in public? DEAR READY TO ROAR >> My mother (a farm wife who went to college late in life and eventually became a professor) rode the second wave of feminism. I surfed through on the third wave. You and those in your generation are part of the fourth wave.

I highlight this so that you will understand that achieving gender equality is a process over 100 years in the making, and it will continue.

You (and others in your generation) should speak out, seek role models, become role models and work hard to enlighten, and/or work alongside, and/ or eventually replace the people who are currently running the show. And when you are finally running things, use your power wisely and according to your values.

The fact that your overlords feel a sense of protection and condescens­ion toward you translates into liking you. They have created an opening for you to communicat­e with them about advancemen­t. Get in there, and “roar” (profession­ally) for yourself.

DEAR AMY >> I’m responding to “No Fun in Fundraisin­g,” regarding relentless fundraisin­g supporting schools and youth activities.

Many years ago, my daughter handed me a large envelope containing a catalogue and order form for wrapping paper, handed out in her class at school.

I wrote a note on the front of the envelope in bold letters, advising the teacher that my daughter would not be pestering neighbors, friends or families with any fundraiser­s. DEAR BEEN THERE >> No Thin Mints for you!

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