Tackling a GoFundMe request
DEAR AMY >> I just received a GoFundMe request from the mother of a young man who wants to travel with his football team to play an out-of-state game.
His coach helped him put together the request. There was no mention of what this young man is doing to earn money for the trip — just the begging.
His parents both work and live a country club life.
They have not yet contributed to the page.
I can easily contribute, but I just feel that this “ask” puts me on the spot, since it will be obvious if I don’t contribute.
What say you? — Wondering Friend DEAR WONDERING >> For the few who don’t know, GoFundMe allows people to set up online accounts to ask people — friends, contacts and strangers — for donations.
From your narrative, it seems probable that the football players are being encouraged to “earn” or otherwise raise the money to travel.
Asking for donations is not the same as earning. And in encouraging this method of raising money, this coach is undermining one of the positive lessons learned on the sports field: the value of hard work. Does the wide receiver wait on the field and “ask” for the ball? No — he runs and works and positions himself for the catch.
You can assume that this request is coming from the mother because the son is too young to set up an account.
Like most people, I have received GoFundMe requests for a broad variety of causes, ranging from offsetting a colleague’s medical costs (yes) to travel expenses for a family to go pick up their new dog (um, no).
Some GoFundMe requests seem almost designed to insult a working person. Others seem viable and valid, but come from strangers.
And some requests are easily and heartily fulfilled.
It costs nothing to launch a request (GoFundMe takes an ample percentage of the donations), and because it is done at a cyber-distance (through the internet), the person asking doesn’t even have to make eye contact or answer questions.
Anybody can ask for anything. Remember this, as you ignore this GoFundMe ask.
And if the mother knows that you are ignoring it — so what?
DEAR AMY >> I was gobsmacked by your answer to “What’s Ap(propriate)” regarding his wife’s texting flirtation. By saying, “Each party in a marriage has the right to live out their own personal dreams,” you endorsed her behavior! — Upset DEAR UPSET >> I absolutely did not endorse her behavior. I also said, “This is not quite the marriage want to be in,” and encouraged this husband to confront his wife.