Introvert dad has active son

DEAR AMY >> I am a happy introvert. Always have been.

I like to go to the movies alone, out to eat alone, and other activities by myself. My wife is the same way, though we obviously enjoy going out together.

My question is about our 7-year-old son. We’ve never done play dates or thrown birthday parties that his classmates in day care or school were invited to because interacting with other parents is terrifying.

I feel bad that my not wanting to interact with other parents might be depriving my little guy of friendships.

So far, my son doesn’t seem to mind our household’s version of normal, but he is outgoing and I don’t want to squash his extroverted nature.

Should I go far outside of my comfort zone and force play dates, or will my son eventually make “real” friends when he’s ready? — Joe DEAR JOE >> Many only children basically pair up with their parents in a singular way, and I assume your son enjoys this closeness with you two.

But yes, you should go outside your comfort zone. That’s what parents do. Because when parents bravely try new things, their children are inspired to bravely try new things. (That’s how I ended up screaming my way down an amusement park roller coaster.)

Being your son’s father will change you in many ways. You should do what you can to adjust to his extroverted nature. So — try harder.

At the age of 7, play dates and birthdays do not involve other parents. I know that some parents throw festival-sized combination birthday/cocktail parties with tons of kids and parents, but a birthday party should be childcentered, and it need not be overwhelming.

So yes, encourage your son to have a friend over, or to go on an outing — perhaps to a movie — if he would like. You should also encourage him to play soccer, clarinet, chess or any activity outside the home that you think might be a good fit for him.

If you and your wife are turned off by the sideline parent scene on the soccer field, then you and she can sit quietly together. Your son will grow and change. And if you foster his interests and encourage him to take some social risks outside the home, you will, too.

DEAR AMY >> Thank you, thank you, for advocating for adopting older animals in your response to “Second Thoughts,” who had just bought a puppy.

Lots of people don’t realize how many wonderful older animals are available at their local shelters. — Grateful DEAR GRATEFUL >> I advocate for adopting senior animals — because I’m sitting next to one right now!