Snooze-button habit annoys
DEAR MISS MANNERS >> My husband and I are new parents to a 1-month-old. He does the midnight feeding, while I take on any baby needs after that point. After the 6 a.m. feed, I often try to go back to bed to get more sleep, as I am exhausted from being up throughout the night. It takes me awhile to get back to sleep.
An hour later, my husband insists on pressing the snooze button until he decides to get up for work. This leaves me unable to sleep and frustrated to the point of tears, as I know the baby will be up again soon. He insists that he should be able to press snooze at least once a morning.
I am an exhausted new mom recovering from surgery, and feel that giving me an hour of sleep is the least he could do. Who is correct?
GENTLE READER >> Do you really have any doubt?
You may suggest, with Miss Manners’ blessing, that if your husband would like to switch with you and take the 6 a.m. feeding, then he could conveniently stay up for work and not have to push the “snooze” button at all. You may further add that you would be happy to experiment with his rule to make sure that you, in turn, properly wake up in the middle of the night when it is your turn.
DEAR MISS MANNERS >> Please help settle a disagreement between my boyfriend and me. When you get a free water cup for the soda machine at a restaurant, are you allowed to get the bubbly water under the soda tab, or just the plain water? I always get the bubbly soda water, and he accuses me of stealing. Am I doing something wrong, or is he uptight?
GENTLE READER >> Both? It is not generally good form to ask for water and then use the cup for soda instead. That, Miss Manners supposes, is why the water cup is flimsier. The punishment then becomes self-inflicted.
However, as long as it does not become a habit, she — and likely the establishment that is already on to you — will turn the occasional blind eye to a splash of soda in your otherwise plain water.
DEAR MISS MANNERS >> I have a friend who works for me; she is also a Realtor. My husband and I will be putting our home up for sale in about six months and moving to another state.
Neither of us likes using friends in a business deal. Plus, she has only sold one home so far (her own).
I feel bad, but what can I say to her when the time comes to put our home up for sale, and we choose someone with more experience?
GENTLE READER >> The relevant information here is that she is a friend, not that she is bad at her job. It is not an uncommon practice to separate business relationships from friendships — in the interest of keeping both. Miss Manners sees nothing wrong with politely telling your friend this when the time comes.