My husband survived the Cypress Structure collapse
Today is the 30th anniversary of the Loma Prieta earthquake. It hit the San Francisco Bay Area on Oct. 17, 1989.
One of the worst disasters of the earthquake was the collapse of the double-deck Cypress Structure on Interstate 880 in West Oakland. My beloved husband, Carman L. Smith, was driving on that section of freeway at exactly at 5:05 p.m. He had left his job in Berkeley and was headed for home, in Los Gatos.
I want you to hear my story of what happened to my husband and what my family experienced that eventful day. My desire is to help and encourage you when you face a disaster in your life.
I will never forget my husband’s valor and his fighting spirit. I learned of his accident at about 9 that night. He came out alive, but with a broken back, after the upper deck of the Cypress violently collapsed.
At that minute my life changed forever. I walked beside my husband since that night when I arrived at Providence Hospital in Oakland at about 10:30 p.m.
You might be on a similar journey after learning or hearing about your own disaster or that of a loved one. Facing trauma is very difficult. The journey that you are facing, although traumatic, will be OK. You will be able to draw strength from within yourself and from the kind help of others.
I have learned a few simple but important actions that prepared me to hold my husband, family and myself together.
At times I felt weighed down by the magnitude of the experience, but most of the time I responded by doing what needed to be done. I learned that a community is vital to carry on the long process of facing the trauma.
That community could be your own close family. In my case it was my son, Brian, who was 17 at the time of the earthquake. That community also consisted of friends who came along with me and extended a hand, of neighbors who offered help, and of some strangers who, without knowing, encouraged and inspired me to keep one foot in front of the other.
There were also the professionals who were part of the medical and surgical team that wonderfully cared for my husband in and out of the hospital.
A few were questionable, but eventually responded because I persisted. They might have caused harm had I not acted rationally, kindly and firmly at the same time. It was at times a difficult balancing act: I was afraid of unintentionally hurting my husband by being seen as pushy instead of assertive, or foolish instead of wise and caring.
I learned to reach out for specific help. Saying “Please, I need this” was useful. At times I felt very weak, without energy to do simple activities. For these simple needs, such as buying milk or tending to my business, I had to reach out or go without.
I have learned that we have a human family as well. If you see another human being as family, you will feel comfortable asking for help. The amazing thing is that most respond positively.
Having a belief in a higher being such as God will also be key. You will have someone to pray to, and to cry out to. He will respond.
My husband lived for 24 years more after the quake, even though he had other major health issues; I called them aftershocks in his body. We led extremely meaningful lives as a family. You will too.