What to do when Facebook ‘friend’ emerges in real life

DEAR AMY >> I live in a fairly large community, and I am a member of several local interest groups on Facebook.

Some are hobby-related, and some are community issues (and rant/ raves about those issues).

I’m curious about what someone should do if they happen to see another group member in public? Should one say hi?

Twice recently I have seen individuals in a public place and recognized them from these Facebook groups. In one case it was a lady from a hobby group I’m in, and both of us were in a hurry, but she recognized me too and gave me a quick smile and wave (and I did the same).

The second instance was a gentleman who is a member of several of the issue-type groups. To be honest, he has gained a bit of a reputation as basically being a troll.

He is sarcastic and enjoys playing devil’s advocate most of the time, but I wouldn’t call him particularly derogatory. I saw him at a fast-food place, and I wasn’t 100% sure I recognized him, but as he left, he turned toward me, gave me a beaming smile and walked out laughing. Later that day, while he did not name me specifically, he made a post in one of the groups stating that while some might say he is a troll, at least someone now had proof he didn’t eat like one.

I’m just wondering if in the future I should say hi to a local fellow member of a group?

DEAR FLUMMOXED >> Encountering someone in real life whom you know only in the online world can be a surreal experience. I’d compare it to encountering a local TV newscaster. You recognize the person — but from where? Once you can accurately place the person, it can be too late.

Yes, if you enjoy benign interactions online, you should definitely say hello. I have been fortunate to form wonderful real-world friendships from people I’ve met online, and the beauty of communitybased groups is that by the time you meet each other, you already know quite a bit about the other person.

However, if your instincts tell you to steer clear, then definitely do so.