What I’m missing most during shelter-in-place
As we draw a close to the second full month of shelter-inplace, I asked my daughter, Mia, what she missed doing most. And, because she’s 10 and her head isn’t filled with the nonsense adults deal with, her answer was quick and forthright.
“I miss school,” she said. “I miss seeing my friends. I miss my teachers. I even miss the learning.”
She’s in fifth grade and she’s taken it hard. Her school had a minimum day on March 13, the day schools were ordered closed. So when she left, she didn’t know it would be the last time she would attend her elementary school. Her desk is still filled with her papers, workbooks and school supplies and proba
bly more important things such as notes from her friends and a trove of forbidden candy. We agreed it is much harder for eighth graders, high school seniors and soon-to-be college grads, but I don’t think that helped much.
But the conversation got me thinking about what I’ve really missed over the past two months while we’ve been sheltered-inplace, and now masked and 6 feet apart when we do see each other. Your list is probably different — and I’d love to hear what some of those things are — but here’s mine:
• I miss going to the movies. I know a lot of people who prefer streaming a movie in the comfort of their own home, but for me, nothing matches sitting in a darkened theater with a bucket of popcorn and a hot dog (and these days, maybe a beer or a cocktail). I had plans to see a movie at Santana Row a few days before shelter-in-place started, but 30 minutes before showtime, the area of the shopping center that included the Cinearts theater lost power.
• I miss being able to sit in a restaurant, drink in a bar or even work on my laptop at a downtown coffee shop. We’ve done our best to support our local favorites with takeout, but it’s not the same as sitting at the counter at Original Joe’s watching the cooks do their magic and the waiters whisk by with a hot plate of chicken parmagiana.
• I miss the Monday night dinner we’ve enjoyed for many years with my mom, my stepdad and my dad. It’s been a hard tradition to break, and nobody likes it, but we keep reminding ourselves we’re doing it to protect my parents who are all “up there” in years.
• I miss the infrastructure of my life; things like picking up the kids from school, hosting Cub Scout meetings, attending church at St. Joseph Cathedral Basilica on Sundays, seeing friends at a Rotary lunch on Wednesdays. These were the moments in my life where I could stop and take a breath. Now, everything just runs together.
• I miss baseball a lot; more than I thought I would. Whether it’s watching a game on TV with my dad or taking the whole family to see a San Jose Giants game — and hit Turkey Mike’s BBQ — I can’t wait for the season to eventually start.
• I miss going to work. Seriously. Working from home has its advantages — I still shower and wear pants, however — and I’m grateful I’m one of the people who can do so. But I had no idea how much energy I picked up from seeing my co-workers in the office.
And I miss being out in the community for events. When a big part of your job is to let people know what’s going on around town, it’s hard to adjust when everything gets canceled or shifted online. I’ve been OK leaving my suits in the closet, but life is less fun without South First Fridays, Music in the Park and all the shows and musical performances that would have been performed on now-dark stages.
I’m not sharing this list to evoke sympathy for myself or to make anyone reflect sadly about changes in their own lives, especially those who have lost loved ones during the COVID-19 pandemic or have seen their livelihoods shattered. I’m doing it as a reminder to myself so that when those things return — and I have to believe they will — I will appreciate them a lot more than I did.