Nipping political rants in the bud
DEAR MISS MANNERS >> Some close family members of mine have become strident in their political views to the point that politics is all they ever talk about. I find it tiring to listen to nothing but regurgitated cable news sound bites from them. However, they are rather thin-skinned about any criticisms of their viewpoints, no matter how ridiculous. These relatives use all types of media to do this: email, telephone, web links, etc.
What is the best way to distract and redirect them — politely, so as not to cause a small nuclear war? GENTLE READER >> It’s not a conversation, nor a correspondence, unless you respond. When a rant is finished, which happens faster if it is greeted by silence, it will be your turn to start a new conversation about other, more pleasant topics.
To apply a polite veneer, you could open with, “There is so much that’s awful in the news at the moment that we find ourselves wanting to talk to family about anything else. How is Aunt Ginny’s new ferret?”
DEAR MISS MANNERS >> What is the proper way to eat a cupcake when one is not given a fork? Should I ask for a fork? I always seem to make a mess without one. GENTLE READER >> The cupcake is the fried chicken of the dessert world: It should properly be eaten only informally or with family, where it may be picked up with the hands — and the mess and facial decorations are part of the fun.
Since the turn of the modern century, however, it has become common to serve cupcakes at weddings and other formal settings, often without the accompanying and necessary utensils. The results have been, as you say, a disaster.
Guests have had to get creative. Miss Manners has even witnessed the advent of frosting sandwiches, where consumers take off the bottom half of the cake and place it on top.
But if hosts insist on serving cupcakes outside of children’s birthday parties, their guests will be obliged to ask for the proper implements. Tablecloths, silk dresses and upper lips will be eternally grateful.
DEAR MISS MANNERS >> My neighbors’ children are constantly screaming at the top of their voices when they play. I was always told that screaming was to be done only in an emergency.
How can I politely ask the neighbors to encourage their children to keep the noise level at a more appropriate volume? I’m also concerned that the children often play in the street, which is dangerous.
GENTLE READER >> Express that concern, in regard to all applicable screaming and playing: “Is everything all right? We heard screaming coming from your children and got worried. Also, we know that the streets are quieter than usual now, but you never know when someone might come out of nowhere and hurt them while they are playing there.”
If you are feeling generous, you might further remind the children about crying wolf. But Miss Manners would not blame you if you decided to enjoy some quiet instead.