Rita Marie Boyer Haberman

December 20, 1930 - April 1, 2020 Resident of San Jose

A few months before Rita Haberman went to her eternal reward, she disclosed to a friend her readiness to go to the Lord because she felt her mission had been completed. St. Francis of Assisi, a saint whom Rita revered, said as he was dying, “I have done what was mine to do, may God show you what is yours to do.” Rita could very well have said those same words.

Rita’s life – her own mission – can be divided into four periods: the first being the strong formative influence of the Boyer family rearing; the second, her service within the Franciscan community; third, joining with a partner with whom to share in spiritual growth as spouse, parent and serving Christian; and, finally, her pride of ancestry and membership in the Daughters of the American Revolution.

Rita was born into the Boyer family during the Great Depression, on December 20, 1930 in Toledo, Ohio. She was the fifth of ten children, six brothers and three sisters. On Sunday, the day following her birth, Rita was baptized in the Church of the Immaculate Conception. Being baptized the first Sunday after birth was in the family tradition. Six years later she followed her siblings to Darby, the parish school. Here, as she was taught by Franciscan Sisters, Rita got her first introduction to St. Francis of Assisi.

Many times in her youth, Rita’s father would recount colorful stories that had been passed down through several generations of the family. Outstanding among them was that the Boyer’s bloodline included an American Indian ancestry, and that during the Revolutionary War there was a Boyer ancestor who publicly supported the colonists’ cause. These two stories left a deep impression on Rita.

Growing up during the Great Depression, a hard and difficult time of severe unemployment, and well before penicillin and other advances in medicine, Rita experienced her first introduction to the practice of care and service to others. It poignantly presented itself in her own family, when, at the tender age of three or four, Rita was struck down with rheumatic fever. Only through the constant care and comforting of her parents, her older sister and brothers was she able to completely recover. The result of this was that as she grew older, she began to take on an active role in caring for her younger brothers and sisters. The total experience was transformative for Rita, where it became apparent that the interaction of love and caring exhibited within her own family exemplified the first step to be used in the service of others.

In the Fall of 1945, Rita entered Central Catholic High School in Toledo, marking the beginning of a period when Rita gave considerable thought to how she could live a more meaningful life. She found herself impressed by and drawn to the life of prayer and service exemplified by her Franciscan teachers. In August 1947, prior to her junior year, she asked to join the Sisters of St. Francis of Mary Immaculate. By extra effort, Rita completed all academic requirements for her Junior and Senior years of high school in just one year. Thereafter, she completed her college education at the College of St. Francis in Joliet, Illinois, with a degree in Mathematics, which enabled her to begin a full-time teaching career.

Mathematics can be difficult for some to learn, but Rita was gifted with the ability to make her students understand the subject. One of her students said that Rita taught her so well that it enabled her to complete the mathematics requirement she needed for her PHD.

Rita’s time as a Franciscan was very fulfilling. Sisters who knew her over the seventeen years while she was a Religious Sister viewed her as “being beautiful both inside and outside.” Fellow Sisters enjoyed living with her because she was a positive person, concerned about everyone else. She could always be counted on to go out of her way to assist others. Throughout those seventeen years, Rita felt close to the Lord because her prayer life was strong. Experience had made her a very accomplished teacher. Her students revered her as outstanding. All was going very well, but Rita began to feel a deep-seated call to another mission.

After teaching a number of years in Illinois, it came to pass in 1955 that another Sister teaching second grade at Darby became ill and Rita was assigned to replace her. At this time while at her home parish, Rita recognized that she was questioning whether the Religious Life was really what God was asking of her now or was there another purpose that she was meant to fulfill.

In 1964 Rita obtained a release from the commitments that she had made in 1950 for service as a Religious Sister, thus allowing herself to follow a new path the Lord would guide her to take.

How did Rita meet Gene Haberman, the man with whom she would share the next fifty-five years? Their first meeting was while both were enrolled in the same graduate mathematics class in the summer of 1963 at the University of Illinois at Champaign-urbana. As it happened at the time, all local bookstores had run out of copies of the class text, thereby requiring those possessing a text to share it with a hapless classmate without one, Gene being numbered among them. They were only acquaintances during that summer, losing contact with each other when the class ended and Rita returned to a teaching assignment.

At the beginning of the 1964 summer session, dozens of students crowded a desk in the Mathematics building to pick up a copy of their class schedule. By remarkable coincidence, Rita and Gene found themselves together at the desk at exactly the same moment. Rita was both surprised and pleased to see a familiar face. To Gene, Rita radiated the beauty of an angel. He could hardly wait to talk with her. That summer, they matured their relationship from acquaintances to that of friendship, now enjoying walks together. When the summer ended, Rita left as she had the previous summer. But this time they kept in contact by mail and telephone. Gene sent Rita one book – The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupery – which first identified Rita as his special rose always.

Rita and Gene married on February 27, 1965. In the same year, Gene joined IBM in Chicago, and Rita left teaching to work for an accounting firm. Then, in 1966, IBM moved Gene to New York state. Rita followed him and returned to teaching. In 1969, they adopted a daughter, Christine. Then, once again, in 1972, Rita had to adapt when Gene was transferred to California, where

she now became a Junior High math teacher. In the same year they adopted their son, Michael. Throughout this time, Rita applied skills she had acquired in teaching young children to lovingly raise their own two children.

Both Rita and Gene shared Catholic religious ideals, but that did not stop them from questioning practices that limited the roles of women. Thus, they were overjoyed and hopeful when Pope John XXIII opened the Second Vatican Council in 1962 saying it was time to “open the windows and let in the fresh air.” Rita and Gene were ready. The pastor of their parish was of a similar mind set. Rita and Gene worked as a team in being active participants in parish. These were just four activities where they were particularly involved: New Parishioner Night; Parents Orientation for a Child Baptism; Marriage Encounter; Junior High Youth Program.

Rita and Gene worked joyfully hand-in-hand for ten years, making these golden years. Then, in 1983, once again the company moved Gene. This time to London for a three-year assignment. Rita saw this as an ideal opportunity for their children to experience and accept various other cultures and styles of living.

In 1986, after the family’s return to California from London, Rita began teaching mathematics again at J.W. Fair Middle School in San Jose. She loved her students and gave generously of her personal time to help achieve their success. The School District recognized Rita for “Teaching Excellence”, and a former student wrote: “She helped the whole class through anything we didn’t understand and always stayed after school for people needing more help.”

A first grandchild, Andrea, was added to the family in 1991. In 2000, Rita retired permanently from teaching to raise Andrea. She was also blessed by the addition of two more grandchildren – Luke in 2011 and Donna in 2014 – and their mother Andrea Brocious. Rita relished her new role as a caring and indulgent grandma.

The year 2000 marked the beginning of one of the most productive and fulfilling periods in Rita’s life. In Rita’s own words, here is how research into her ancestry grew into a rewarding undertaking:

“With time on my hands, I finally set out to prove that the two stories my Dad told us were true. The first thing I found to be of any help was a site for the descendants of the Native American Indians of Indiana. Here I found the name of an author and researcher whom I contacted, and found that my paternal name was listed in her book. I was on my way!

“With records from the Vincennes library I was able to build my family tree back to my 3rd great grandfather Louis Boyer, who was the 25th signer of the Oath of Vincennes. [The Oath, which is dated July 20, 1778, and signed by 181 inhabitants, “to renounce all fidelity to George the Third, King of Britain, and to his successors, and to be faithful and true subjects of the Republic of Virginia as a free and independent state.”] I had found the patriot I needed to join DAR. Checking baptismal records of the local church I found a notation that Louis Boyer had married Marie Anne Gauder, a member of the Ouiatenon (Wea) Nation. My dad’s stories, both of them were true! But I was caught! I now wanted to find out more about my family. Along the way I was admitted to the Wea Tribe of Indiana as a “by blood” member.

“I got help from someone newly met by e-mail, a distant relative in Vincennes who started building my application for DAR. By mutual consent she notified the Santa Clara Chapter, and that team took over. I was admitted and sworn into the Santa Clara Chapter in March 2014, and very soon joined the Native American Indian Committee to honor my Native American Indian Wea and Detroit Wyandot ancestors. In May of 2016 I was elected Recording Secretary of the Chapter. I have held that position until January 2020 when medical conditions forced me to resign a position I truly enjoyed.

“What have I been most impressed by in DAR? As a teacher I met and worked with some very good people who made the experience of educating the next few generations of students very exciting and fulfilling. The ladies I have met and worked with in DAR have given a far different face of dedication. While they also are very good people, their generosity, abilities and dedication to the Chapter’s goals and the organization’s ideals and aims have repeatedly enriched my own life and encouraged me to continue trying to do whatever I am physically able to do for as long as possible.

Throughout her adult years, Rita’s health was very good. Therefore, it came as a total shock when on July 4, 2019, Rita was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She put up a valiant fight to conquer the cancer, but Rita was called home to the Lord on April 1, 2020. Hers was a beautiful soul. All those whose lives she touched are better for Rita’s having lived. Rita accomplished her mission.

Rita’s immediate family held a private prayer service for the interment of ashes at Calvary Cemetery. We will hold a celebration of Rita’s life at a later date.