Can I say I ‘read’ an audiobook?

DEAR MISS MANNERS »

In the context of a world filled with major problems, this one is quite minor, but the question has galled me for many years, and I would love some professional feedback.

I am a voracious reader, but for a long time now, and for various reasons, almost all my book “reading” is done by listening to audiobooks. Those quotation marks introduce my quandary: Do I use the words “read” or “listened to” when discussing books?

I might be recommending a book to a fellow reader — “I just read the latest Nancy Drew mystery, and I think you’d love it” — or adding the contents of a book to a discussion — “According to a book I read, the aardvark prefers to consume daisies above all flowers.” Or I might introduce someone to a book series as part of a friendly conversation: “I read the entire ‘History of Flags’ series, and it was stunning!”

In all of these scenarios, I didn’t, in point of fact, “read” anything. The means of communication was auditory. But “I listened to a great book recently” or “I heard a new author I think you should check out” doesn’t fall trippingly off the tongue. Is it misleading to state that I read something when that’s not what actually happened? GENTLE READER » Why not eliminate the verb entirely? “Wittgenstein’s ‘Tractatus-logico Philosophicus’ is really quite a pleasure.” Or “The canon of Proust is brilliant. I think you would love it.”

Miss Manners assures you, however, that should there be further inquiry into the experience, there is no shame in admitting that it was auditory. Comparing and discussing audiobooks is no less interesting than doing so with bound editions — especially since many of the latter are now read on devices of some sort, anyway.

DEAR MISS MANNERS » I have completed a kitchen remodel after my house flooded. I had to do this on a budget because my insurance only paid a small amount.

I think it turned out beautifully. However, whenever guests come over, they comment about the remodel and offer suggestions for things that they wish I had done differently. If it was just one person, I would let it go, but it’s a continual problem, and it’s always a different suggestion.

I believe these people are well-meaning, but after everything I’ve been through, I am just so glad to be done with my remodel and moving on. Please help me with an appropriate response. GENTLE READER » “Oh! We never thought of a discomirrored backsplash. But we were actually really pleased with how the remodel came out ...” — with enough of a pause afterward, Miss Manners suggests, that the implied “I am sorry to hear that you think otherwise” remains implied.