Texting tussles arise at home

DEAR AMY » When my husband enters the room and I am on my phone texting or emailing, he expects me to stop immediately.

I think this is unreasonable, demanding and controlling.

I think he should be willing to wait until I finish the text or email that I had already begun before he walked into the room.

Waiting for me seems polite, and I believe it’s reasonable to be allowed to finish what I already started.

Or am I being unreasonable?

We are both retired. We are together most of the day — except when we can’t agree on what television show to watch — and then we enjoy our shows separately.

It’s not as though our time together is very limited!

Can you give me your take?

— Exasperated

DEAR EXASPERATED » You can’t anticipate exactly when your husband will enter the room, in order to leap to attention when he does.

If you are in the middle of sanding the floor, kneading bread dough, or talking to your mother on the phone, the person arriving onto the scene should wait patiently until you have reached a stopping point.

You, in turn, should arrive at that point and acknowledge the other person’s presence.

Your husband may not believe that your choice to finish a thought when you are typing on your phone is the same as finishing a thought or a conversation when you are speaking on the phone, and yet interrupting a person is just that — an interruption.

The person doing the interrupting should respectfully wait, and the other person should then thank them for their patience.

When you are engaged in a conversation with your husband, do you automatically let a text message interrupt you?

Obviously, having a regular “workspace” in your home might help to draw some distinctions between you completing some desired correspondence, and the home life you two share.

DEAR AMY » “Caring Mom” was concerned over the 17-year age difference between her daughter and the man she was currently dating.

The mother described him as kind, intelligent, grounded and respectful.

This man sounds like my father!

My parents married in 1950 when my mom was 19 and my father 40. He was German and she was American. He was Jewish and she was Protestant. Dad was exceedingly welleducated and mom had a high school diploma.

But did it matter? Not one iota!

My parents were exceedingly happy for 50 years until my father’s death in the year 2000.

If they end up being even one-tenth as happy as my parents, they will be a lucky couple, indeed.