Single mom faces tough choices

DEAR AMY >> I am a 32-year-old woman with a 6-year-old son.

I am in a relationship with “Larry,” who is 48.

He is not my child's father.

Before meeting Larry, I lived alone and raised my son by myself.

After losing my job, my son and I moved in with my folks. We were financially dependent on them. Over the course of a year I looked for work, but couldn't find a decent-paying job that conformed with my son's school hours.

I felt I became a burden to my parents financially. They scrambled to get my son from school while I was at work.

During that time, I was dating Larry and decided to move in with him. I knew it was a mistake fairly quickly. We just aren't compatible. I feel like I've become stuck.

Now I'm working at a good job, and I know I can afford to be on my own. I hate to seem selfish and leave, but I'm not happy.

I don't blame Larry. I know I have personal issues to work on, but I know being on my own would be best for me and my child.

The only thing is that I would need my family to help with some child care (my child's father isn't around). At times it seems my family gets tired of helping out.

I know that if I stay with Larry, he will help with my son's school drop-off and pickup, and with other miscellaneous things.

Do I leave Larry, suck it up, and ask for my family's help again, or should I stay in this relationship?

— Confused in Texas

DEAR CONFUSED >> Your question illustrates how child care lies at the heart of concerns for all single parents.

You mention two things about “Larry”: His age, and his ability to help with your son. He likely deserves to have a partner who genuinely wants to be with him.

I can't speak for your parents, but I do believe that most parents, given the option, would rather provide some child care for their grandson than have their daughter dependent on her much-older partner to do it.

You should check with your son's school and enroll him in after-school care, if at all possible.

Talk with your parents very frankly about your needs.

I can speak for all parents here: We want for our children to demonstrate that they are moving forward. A good job, decent housing, stable schooling for your son: These are all signs that you are making progress. Keep going.

DEAR AMY >> Your response to “Snacked” bordered on insulting. Because a grandfather was giving his grandchild cookies, you suggested he might steer the child “toward less benign choices.” Like what? No car seat, foul language, drugs!

How dare you! Your contemptuous, suspicious tone toward this Grandpa was obvious and offensive.

— Upset

DEAR UPSET >> I was exaggerating for effect. Unfortunately, it seems to have worked.