Should parents honor children

Dear Chaplain: My mom reminds me all the time that I have to obey her and honor her. OK, I get that. But what about when she is not being a good parent? Do I still have to honor and obey her then? Shouldn’t she have to honor me too? — Signed, Kids Rights

Dear Kids Rights: Thank you so much for taking the time to write. I was a child once, so I certainly understand your frustration with being one of the youngest members of a family, with very little say. In my household, it seemed that all the rules and discipline were geared toward the children, but not the adults. And what made matters worse is, I had to be respectful even when I knew my mom was wrong. Although you may feel that you’re least important in your home, know that God feels differently. Jesus said in the Bible that children have angels, and those angels have the attention of God continually. (“See that you do not despise or think less of these little ones, for I say to you that their angles in heaven are in the presence of and continually look upon the face of My Father who is in heaven”. Matthew 18:10) God pays close attention to how children are treated. And sooner or later, everyone will have to answer to God if any of them are mistreated. Our heavenly Father gives children to parents to raise, shape and mold into healthy, productive people who will love and serve him, and others. This is a big responsibility. And even as Christians, being a parent is not easy. Our only instruction manual is the Bible. God wants children to love their parents, to do what they say, and to treat them with respect because they are the child’s first line of authority. If they learn to love, obey, and respect their parents... they will most likely honor and respect their teachers, coaches, policemen, bosses, and others that have to rule over them. And if they respect and obey both parents and authority, when they come to realize that God is our ultimate authority, it will be easy for them to respect and obey and Him who reigns and rules over us, not just in this life, but in the next life to come... heaven. But try to understand that God doesn’t tell us to honor and obey our parents only when they’re right. He knows that they’re going to get it wrong sometimes. And when they do, it’s still not the child’s place to correct the parent (unless it is a dangerous or life threatening situation). But what you can do, even as a child, is to go to your parent’s authority (which is God), in prayer, and plead your case. And God, who has supreme authority over us all can divinely show your parents your issues and teach them how to best handle situations concerning you. To answer your question, should your mom honor you? I believe your mom should give you the honor and respect due a child, and according to Ephesians 6:4, by “not provoking you to anger by the way she treats you. Rather bringing you up with the discipline and instruction that come from God.” And Godly discipline and instruction is always be rooted in love. Thank you so much for your question and please write again. May God bless you.

Ask the Chaplain is written by Rev. Dayna Spence, an ordained minister, licensed evangelist, and chaplain who’s served as a hospital chaplain and is currently serving as a hospice chaplain Chester County area. Please email “Ask the Chaplain” at 4thechaplain@gmail.com or write to, PO Box 1284, West Chester, PA 19380.