Homicide victims remembered at vigil
Candlelight walk, memorial service held to honor victims, fallen police officers
Stacie Shrader lost her oldest son to a violent crime, and hearing about such crimes reminds her of the pain her family is enduring.
Her son Alex was shot 11 times by a convicted drug dealer who could not legally possess a gun. She explained that Alex did not have an easy life and he began to self-medicate and battled addiction.
She read in part a journal entry written by her son.
“Decision making: reckless. Intentions: harmless. End result: self-destructive action. I’d rather hurt myself than other people, and that’s pretty much what I do in the long run,” she read.
Alex checked into a men’s shelter in Coatesville in August 2016. She heard from him every day, but the communication stopped and he didn’t respond to her worrisome text messages asking if he was OK.
She saw an online newspaper article with a headline about a Pottstown man who frequents Coatesville homeless shelters had been murdered on August 26, 2016.
“I knew. I don’t know how I knew, but I knew (it was him),” Shrader said. “My stomach dropped.”
She called the Coatesville Police Department and they confirmed her son was murdered.
“So it began my nightmare,” Shrader said. “My family endured through the pain of the judicial process.”
Her family listened to the details of Alex’s last moments, heard testimonies for days and watched surveillance video used as evidence of the shooting. Coatesville police and Chester County detectives arrested Lenn “Butter” Tucker in September 2016 for the murder of Alex Hartzell, 24, of Pottstown. Tucker was convicted in July 2017. She said she expected to feel closure or relief since the conviction, “but it still hasn’t come.”
“I don’t need to tell any of you about grief. I’m sure everyone in this room understands the shock, trauma and physical agony of finding out that our loved ones were victims of homicide,” she said on Thursday night to a crowd of families and police officers remembering homicide victims. “The first year is like a fog that you’re fighting blind to get through each day. I can describe to you my struggle in trying to attend to my own grieving heart and hold the pieces of my broken family together. I can tell you of my immense guilt. Mothers are supposed to protect their children.”
She explained to her young daughters that a bad man hurt Alex and he died. She said that her daughters struggled to cope with their loss and continue to live without their brother there to celebrate milestones. People ask how their family is doing and she lies by saying they are okay.
“But we aren’t OK,” Shrader said. “Each of us in this room have experienced the trauma of having a loved one ripped away by another human’s selfish act.”
She said the Parkland, Fla., school shooting in February has impacted their family because of gun-related violence and learning that nationally there are 96 gun-related deaths a day.
“Ninety-six families like us are finding out that their loved ones are never coming home,” Shrader said.
She spent sleepless nights reading the comments on the online newspaper articles on her son’s homicide. She noticed a lack of empathy in the country.
“What a world we live in that technology allows us to hide behind a keyboard,” Shrader said. “Strangers commenting horrible things ... words no one would ever dare say to a grieving family.”
She encouraged the families to use their support system and talk with fellow survivors who know their pain.
“It’s up to us to carry on our loved ones’ memory,” Shrader said, “and tell their story.”
The vigil and memorial service was held at the Central Presbyterian Church in Downingtown to remember victims of homicide and law enforcement officers fallen in the line of duty. It was presented by the Crime Victims Center of Chester County as part of National Crime Victims’ Rights Week. The names of the victims were read prior to the gathering at the Victims’ Memorial in Kerr Park.