You must send a thank-you note when grandma gives you money
WASHINGTON » who has always been frugal and now enjoys a comfortable life — not wealthy,” the reader wrote.
Here’s her issue. She sends $100 to each of her grandchildren for their birthdays. But she rarely gets a response upon receipt of her gift.
“At Christmas, I also give each of them $300. I give $300 to the spouses of four grandchildren who are married,” she said.
Included with the holiday gift is a question attached to the envelope — e.g., “Who besides family had the greatest influence on your life?” or “What do you consider the greatest accomplishment so far?”
The Virginia grandmother says some respond with thanks about the money and even answer the question. But the silence from the other grandchildren makes her feel disrespected.
“I expect some acknowledgment and a response to my question,” she wrote. “I would appreciate your thoughts. Should I discontinue the gifts, or continue the gifts with no expectations? Besides this issue, I think that I have a good relationship with my grandchildren.”
Many of us have given up on thank-you notes and have released people from the obligation. “Hearing you say thanks is good enough for me,” is what I tell my friends and family. I certainly don’t think less of someone when they don’t send a thank-you note. A call or text is fine with me. If I’ve given the gift in person and been thanked, I’m good.
Still, isn’t it nice when you do get a card or letter?
Perhaps in our efforts to understand how time-crunched people are, we are moving too far away from a gesture that is fundamental when people have sent you a gift.
Think about this grandmother. She’s not rich. She’s being very generous and just wants to know her grandchildren are grateful.
Readers often ask, “What Would Michelle Do?” Here’s what.
• It’s time for a talk. This bothers the grandmother, so I told her to share with her grandchildren that she’s feeling disrespected and unappreciated.
A sample opening line might be, “I’ve been concerned that I