Spot of T - Spider Spot
I am a self-proclaimed arachnophobe. I cringe at the sight of a spider. I am momentarily paralyzed if I come face to face with an eight-legged creature, especially in my house or my yard. So, you can imagine my reaction when an enormous spider decided to make a home in my backyard. He determined that the juxtaposition of my fig trees, locust tree and bird feeder would make the perfect frame for his massive web. And, lucky for me, this borders my patio.
We first spotted this “new neighbor” when my 8-year old granddaughter was visiting. “Look, MomMom, a giant spider!” she squealed. This particular granddaughter loves to tease me with phantom spiders, so I wasn’t actually ready for what I found.
I very slowly took a step closer and was absolutely mesmerized and terrified all at the same time. From a safe distance, I observed this larger-than-life creature busily spinning a web which was taller than I am! It covered an area width-wise of over 6 feet. I could not move, and I could not look away. I had never watched a spider spin a web and certainly not one this large. It was like a master craftsman creating his masterpiece. He would go to the center, spin a piece then glide back down creating the lengthwise areas. It was incredible to watch.
I don’t know what happened or how, but I quickly developed a newfound respect for this creature. I will be the first to admit that spiders still scare me to pieces and I’m certainly not bringing him a tiny Welcome-to-theNeighborhood fruit basket, but I think we can coexist. Now every night, I go out and check on his status – still keeping a safe distance, of course. Mornings too.
It got me thinking. We don’t have to be afraid of one another based on the way we look or our preconceived notions. We do not have to fear others based on their physical appearance or ideals or religion or life choices or political views.
I believe that hatred grows from fear and ignorance. The more you understand someone, the less apt you are to fear or hate them. When I first encountered this super-spider in my yard, I got to work doing some spider research. While I will never want to shake any of their eight hands and introduce myself, I have come to a peaceful place in my relationship with him.
Perhaps we can all try a little harder to understand someone we fear or dislike, just by learning more about them. The old adage, “You can’t judge a book by its cover” is very true. And who knows? You too might discover a newfound respect. After all, each of us is different. That’s what makes us who we are. Some are more different than others. We just have to learn tolerance.
As for my spider, my husband has named him “Boris,” after the old song by The Who, “Boris the Spider.” I have learned to coexist. Mind you, I’m still not getting too close, but I will come outside and say “hello” each night: partly out of curiosity and partly to make sure I know where he is at all times! After all, I wouldn’t want him moving inside my house!
But we have come to a peaceful understanding: I won’t smoosh him and he won’t eat me! I never said I am no longer an arachnophobe. But I will say, after doing some research, I’m a bit more reasonable about it. Let’s just hope Boris is a boy … I wouldn’t want 100 little Borises in my backyard! And then I’d have to change her name to Charlotte! Welcome to the neighborhood, Boris.
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