Changing a diaper causes family friction at baptism
DEARABBY» My sister-in-law “Brenda” often takes it upon herself to change a baby’s diaper during social gatherings with family. She never bothers to ask the baby’s parents if it’s OK to do this, and they never solicit her help. For years, I found it a bit strange, but never said anything to Brenda or another familymember.
Some time ago, my in-laws and immediate family were at my son’s baptismal party. Several babies from my wife’s side aswell asmy own were there. My wife’s relatives aren’t well-acquainted with mine. Before our wedding, neither of our families had evermet the other.
During the festivities, my wife’s niece— whowas still in diapers — appeared to have a full load in her back side. Her parents were in another room. Without informing themof the issue or asking permission, Brenda took it upon herself to change the diaper. The child’smother walked into the room and began to loudly scold Brenda for doing it without her consent. You could see the mother was upset and scared, since she did not know Brenda at all.
After the party ended, my family couldn’t understand why the child’smother became so upset. They thought she was some kind of nut for reacting the way she did. I fully understandwhy themother became upset. Given the fact that she doesn’t know Brenda, and that onemust clean the baby’s private parts when changing a diaper, I don’t understand why Brenda would take this upon herself. What’s your opinion, Abby?
— Strange in theEast
DEARSTRANGE» What your sister-in-law didmay have been fine with her own family, but for her to have changed the diaper of a child whose parents she didn’t knowwell (and from whomshe didn’t have permission!) was inappropriate. I don’t fault themother for being upset. Rather than blame her for reacting theway she did, it’s time someone explains boundaries to Miss Brenda.
DEARABBY» Being bored due to the quarantine, I signed up to Classmates.com to look for old friends. Moments later I received a response fromamale classmate. We graduated the same year. I really don’t remember him, although he said he rememberedme. Anyway, we started texting and exchanging graduation pictures. He still lives in our hometown; I don’t. We have started talking almost every day.
My problem is, we have so many things in common, from family to samemake of car and insurance company, I have started getting a creepy feeling. It freakedme out to the point that I blocked him.
He was always respectful, but for us to have somuch in commonmademy stomach lurch. Do you think this is possible? Or is there a chance he could be stalkingme?
— Freaked out
DEARFREAKED» It could be coincidental that you have somuch in common, but I would never advise anyone who had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right to ignore it. Listen to your intuition and you will never go wrong.
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and amore sociable person, order “How to Be Popular.” Send yourname andmailing address, plus check ormoney order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)