We need to celebrate ‘Festivus’
In a year like 2020, John Morgan feels its really important to air our grievances.
Every year about this time I think about “Festivus.” In this year of grievances and political shenanigans, we need to celebrate this holiday more than ever.
Here is the annual column.
It was one of those mornings when you rise and think you’ve missed something, perhaps leaving the book you were reading behind in the coffee shop or missing a relative’s birthday. The feeling continues past breakfast, breaking into your consciousness occasionally, leaving you befuddled.
Granted, it has been a busy time of the year, the lights and sounds of the holiday creating a sense of blurred time, the past and present blended into one. It wasn’t until lunchtime that you realized what you had missed — your favorite holiday, “Festivus.”
In times such as ours, “Festivus” is sorely needed. If you haven’t heard about this holiday, let me bring you up to date.
Festivus is a holiday celebrated annually each Dec. 23 to cope with the pressures of the season. It was originally created by author Daniel O’Keefe and made famous in a 1997 episode of the television series “Seinfeld.” The episode was cowritten by O’Keefe’s son.
The holiday includes a “Festivus” dinner, feats of strength in which participants join such games as arm wrestling, the display of an unadorned aluminum “Festivus” pole around which the airing of grievances takes place, and the “Festivus” miracles.
The more I have thought about the “Festivus” holiday, the more it feels needed in our times, “Festivus” for the rest of us as it is called in the “Seinfeld” episode. I’d like to propose a second “Festivus” holiday to be celebrated April 1 each year, “Festivus Fools Day.” I should mention I was born minutes past April 1, something for which I shall never forgive my mother. She said she did not was an April Fool, but, alas, I am one and shall remain so.
We would begin with the annual “Festivus Fools Day” Dinner of cold pizza and sauerkraut served over a heaping scoop of chocolate chip, cookie dough ice cream. Rather than arm wrestling, the feat of strength would include seeing how many hot dog sandwiches each contestant could eat in three minutes after dinner.
But the highlight of the “Festivus Fools Day” would be the erection of a very tall and greased aluminum pole outside, preferably placed in the center of the town. People would dance around the pole airing their grievances, hurling insults at those they don’t like, screaming about anyone who has bugged them.
To complete the airing of grievance, people would attempt to climb up, but, of course, could not make it due to the grease, and collapse to the ground laughing. Of course, the “Festivus” miracle would be turning grievances into laughter.
If a “Festivus Fools Day” could be held in every town square on April 1, laughter would reign. There would be no need for screaming Breaking News banners or bad news. People would find common bonds. Peace would break out.
But there’s more, folks. I think there ought to be a “Festivus” clock hung in every home after April 1 to remember the holiday.
In a 2013 CNN segment on the origins of “Festivus,” O’Keefe’s son said his father added the tradition of the clock by putting it in a bag and nailing to the wall, to be opened on “Festivus” day. It was the real symbol of the holiday, the father said.” I don’t know what the clock symbolized. I would ask him, and he would respond: ‘That’s not for you to know’.”
Not knowing is perhaps the real meaning of “Festivus Fools Day” — to be free of pride and full of humility.
Granted, it has been a busy time of the year, the lights and sounds of the holiday creating a sense of blurred time, the past and present blended into one. It wasn’t until lunchtime that you realized what you had missed — your favorite holiday, “Festivus.”