Newlyweds — experiences beat a new blender as a gift

I recently received an invitation to a wedding later this spring along with information on the happy couple’s gift registries.

Taking a peek, many of the items on their wish list weren’t for kitchen doodads, bar glassware, and bath towels. And definitely there were no requests for china, silver and crystal.

What the registries did include were many requests to fund honeymoon dinners at expensive four-star restaurants, tickets to a mountain zipline adventure, seats at a major sporting event, a whale watching cruise, and other “experiences.”

This leads nicely into today’s column on what I call the experiences-as-wedding-gifts trend. Is it OK for the soon-to-be bride and groom to ask for experiential gifts for the honeymoon rather than a serving platter? And how do guests feel about essentially helping to pay for the trip to the rain forest or some sandy tropical paradise.

I was married in the 1980s, and my wife and I asked for the usual things. My generation wanted the expensive place-setting and formal dining ware. Oh, how traditions have changed.

I must admit for a long time, I was not a fan of contributing to the newlyweds’ honeymoon. Let them pay for their own vacation, I said.

But I’ve come around. Many young couples are getting married later, and they already have all their kitchen and household items. The Census

Bureau notes that the median age at the time of a first marriage is now 30 for men and 28 for women. That compares with 24 for men and 22 for women in the early 1980s.

In addition, many kids have embraced the minimalist movement. They don’t want or do not have room for grandma’s china or other stuff to fill their apartment or if fortunate enough, a house.

“There’s a definite movement that experiences are more important and fulfilling than material goods, and the memories created from those experiences last longer than the excitement of getting a new blender,” said Vicki Fitzgerald, the author of the “Simple Guide to Saving For the Young & Broke.”

But, back to the first question posed at the beginning of this column. Is it OK for couples to ask for gift cards and cash to pay for experiences?

Yes, according to wedding etiquette experts at The Knot, a wedding planning site and online marketplace, and the Emily Post Institute.

“It is fine if you do it the right way,” said Daniel Senning of the Post Institute.

“There are lots of options for building a registry and including options for guests that include cash gifts applied to elements of a honeymoon, new home, or other larger expenses are not uncommon or rude in and of themselves. We recommend having options at a range of price points and including a few physical gifts for guests who prefer them.”

There’s still a lot to like about cash and gift cards too, said Sarah Hanlon, entertainment and celebrity editor at The Knot.

According to The Knot 2023 Wedding Registry Study, cash is now the most popular registry item for the first time, passing top categories such as cookware and bakeware.

In addition, the share of couples including “home funds” as part of their wedding registry has increased 55% since 2018, Hanlon said.