Selflessness can be a relief

The holidays can be hard to endure when personal dissatisfaction with life gives way to a range of attitudes from self-centeredness, superiority and envy, to feelings of selfpity and depression, along with ugly behaviors that could ultimately lead to violence.

Turning all this wasted energy away from self is a good first step. Try taking the focus off yourself for a while — for just a little while — think about someone else and how you might be able to benefit another person, or maybe even think of a hungry, cold, stray dog or cat and how you could help.

I’m no psychologist, but I can say that it is impossible to be self-obsessed if you have, for example, a new puppy to care for. Puppies are so needy, so helpless and dependent — caring for a puppy is a big responsibility, but the reward for all this responsibility and activity is a loving companion loaded with devotion and loyalty. And this is simply because all the good we give in life comes back to us. It’s a spiritual law.

A good healthy appreciation of your authentic sense of self is, however, a prerequisite to reaching out of self to nurture or sustain another. If you don’t feel good about yourself, your poor self-image is what remains uppermost in your thoughts and you are unable to reach out in a positive way.

According to Sara Ban Breathnach’s Simple Abundance, “Each of us transmits personal signals about our self-esteem every day in myriad ways.” To keep myself grounded and sending out the right signals, I focus on the acronym, J-O-Y:

Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last. Happy New Year!