The Middletown Press (Middletown, CT)
MOMMY AND ME
IRIS program helps refugee families learn English, American life together
NEW HAVEN » Brenda DenOuden was spending time with 3½-year-old Mlasi, teaching her colors in English.
Mlasi, a refugee from the Democratic Republic of the Congo, squirmed around in her bright red dress, not having any of it. “She’s very smart, so for her it’s learning social skills,” said DenOuden. “She’s still having a bit of a temper tantrum. … She doesn’t ever say anything back, but she understands.”
DenOuden volunteers at Integrated Refugee and Immigrant Services’ “Mommy and Me” program five days a week, traveling from Farmington to teach and play with the little ones so their mothers can take English classes down the hall at Wilbur Cross High School.
IRIS opened its English for Speakers of Other Languages program this summer for mothers with preschoolers, giving the moms the opportunity to get out of the house, knowing their children are being cared for, taught English and other skills, such as “sharing, waiting their turn, learning how to cross the street” when they go to play in the park, said DenOuden, one of 25 volunteers in the program.
“I started doing this after Trump got elected,” DenOuden said. “I went to the Women’s March, I came back, I went to a happy hour and heard about IRIS.
“I love it. … I come every day. I drive an hour to come here.” On weekends, “I can’t wait to come here.” The need is great. IRIS
can accommodate 17 children, according to Jennifer Fitzgerald, the program manager, while the waiting list for public and private preschool in New Haven is more than 100 children. Mommy and Me is open to families who also have older children in IRIS’s English-learning program. There are 40 families with 70 children who would like to take part, according to Will Kneerim, director of employment and education services. IRIS is hoping to expand, preferably to space near the Green, he said.
“They’re just going to enter kindergarten with no social skills, especially the girls,” DenOuden said of the little ones. “Education where they come from is not a priority.
“These kids playing together right now is not how they were a month ago,” she said. “A lot of them don’t speak the same language.”
Danielle Buttafuoco of Manchester, another volunteer, works with English language learners in the East Hartford public schools and said, “What I find fascinating about working with any English learners is there’s so much that’s universal. There’s laughter and happiness and joy … that tells a lot about the human condition.”
Given the struggles many of the refugees have gone through, Buttafuoco said, “It’s really meaningful to be doing this, especially doing it as a volunteer. … I wasn’t sure how education-based it would be. I think just learning social skills at this age and learning how to share and [learning] structure will prepare them for preschool and elementary school. … Getting exposure to different people and environments outside of their family life is important for the kids and their moms.”
Getting out of the house and learning English and how to navigate American society is just as important for the mothers, who wouldn’t have had the opportunity before.
“I have a baby, 8 months [old],” said Abir Yousef, a Syrian refugee. Before Amier arrived, she studied English at IRIS but was unable to bring the baby to those classes.
“I went to church with my baby … but I want [to] study every day. Church is just two days,” Yousef said. “Thank you for IRIS.”
Fitzgerald said that much of the volunteers’ work involves simply talking to the little ones as they play. “While they’re interacting with each other … the volunteer will narrate what they’re doing. ‘Oh, you’re putting the blanket on the baby.’ … It helps stimulate language development.
“But of course our main goal is to keep them safe in here. We take them out to the park while the mothers are next door enjoying their English lesson. For the child it’s a lot of socialization. We’re showing them how to interact with each other like a regular preschool.”
Another important feature of the program is “parent and child together time,” Fitzgerald said. “The children can see that their moms are learning too, together … It’s really a strong component.”
The day starts with breakfast at 9 a.m., and the mothers receive two hours of English lessons.
“Usually, they want all the time they can get in their lesson,” Fitzgerald said.
“The mission for the moms is not just to learn English. It’s to kind of empower [them so] they can participate in American society and also parental engagement in schools.” The parents are taught about procedures, such as calling in when their child is out sick.
Other skills they’re taught are how to use the bus system and how to shop for groceries.
“It’s empowering them because they feel like they can do something on their own,” Fitzgerald said.
Much of the learning is fun for the moms as well as for the kids. Fitzgerald created “street sign bingo” and a version of “The Price is Right,” in which the moms learn that, for example, macaroni and cheese that might cost $2.50 in one store is $1.99 at Ocean State Job Lots.
She also ran a clothing auction, in which each woman was given $50 in fake money to bid with and had to learn how to verbalize dollar amounts. “It was really a lesson on the appropriate price of things, how to count money, how to say the price and the appropriate clothing for the season,” Fitzgerald said.
“If it’s two for $10, what does it mean? Do you have to buy two? It’s really complicated,” she said. Other skills include reading nutrition labels and using coupons.
Carmy Cook of New Haven was teaching Laili and Sharifa, both Afghan refugees, how to read and interpret street addresses. They had also discussed food shopping and filling out forms.
“I wish I could do this every day. I love it,” said Cook, a retired New Haven music teacher. “I really enjoy working with these women. They’re so appreciative and so eager to learn.”
She mentioned the “friendship, smiles, not just with us but with each other. … They get to get out, make friends.”
Emma O’Leary of Redding, has been working as an IRIS intern since May. “It’s been wonderful. It’s been an incredible experience. I love it,” she said. Among the things she’s done with the women has been listening to and dancing to the music they have on their phones.
O’Leary is studying teaching at the College of the Holy Cross in Worcester, Massachusetts, “so I’ve always wanted to teach but I think this experience has really been my favorite.”
She said she was impressed by the women “from very different places coming together to learn English and they’re able to have fruitful lives here in the U.S. I’ve never been out of the country, so having all these cultures in the same room has been amazing.”
IRIS brought 530 refugees to Connecticut in 2016, but won’t be able to sponsor more until the Trump administration’s 120-day ban on refugee immigration ends in October.
The only exceptions have been for Afghan Special Immigrant Visa holders who have worked with the U.S. military, Kneerim said.