The Middletown Press (Middletown, CT)

Young relatives lack gratitude

- Annie Lane Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators .com.

Dear Annie: There are three sisters in my family. Two of us are childless. Our other sister now has seven grandchild­ren. Every Christmas and birthday, my other childless sister and I send a check to each grandniece and grandnephe­w. We never expect any gifts in return, but it would be nice to receive a text message or an email acknowledg­ing our gifts. My other childless sister and I also receive regular solicitati­ons to contribute to special funds.

Upon any graduation from high school, my other childless sister and I are expected to attend the event and pay for our own airfare, a hotel room, a car rental and other expenses, which is fine. But then we are both expected to work in the kitchen to assist with an elaborate gathering for many people.

My other childless sister feels as if it would be unfair to the younger grandniece­s and grandnephe­ws to stop sending checks because we have sent so many checks to the older ones and they are ungrateful. I think that it is time to stop sending checks. Your opinion, please.

Checked Out

Dear Checked Out: You don’t owe anybody anything. Send the younger children greeting cards if you’d like to let them know you’re thinking of them on special occasions, but don’t include checks. If they get angry, as though they were entitled to your money just because their elder siblings received some, then they needed a lesson in humility.

Dear Annie: I would like to use you as a sounding board, hoping that my children and oldenough grandchild­ren might read this and see themselves in the paper.

I have a problem that I’m sure other adults with grown children and grandchild­ren have when it comes to birthdays, anniversar­ies, etc. I always make sure that the above-mentioned relatives have presents and cards on their special days. But when it comes to my husband’s and my anniversar­y and birthdays, we get nothing from them.

If I don’t send a card for my grandchild, I get a nasty phone call from my daughter, who asks whether I forgot her son’s birthday. I am going to try to start doing the same.

Upset in Florida

Dear Upset: I certainly sympathize with you and all the other grandparen­ts, aunts and uncles who consistent­ly show thoughtful­ness that younger relatives rarely reflect back. That said, have you tried telling your children you feel this way?

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