How to help depressed mate

Dear Annie: I just found out my girlfriend’s been dealing with depression for years. She is on medication for it, but maybe it’s not helping. Today is the fourth straight day she hasn’t gotten out of bed. Of course, my main concern is her and her health, but now I’m starting to worry about our income. I don’t make enough money at my job to support us both. So now I’m really worried about her and the reality that our bills may not get paid. I don’t want to add any stress to her. I want to do what’s best for her and what’s best for us. I want to continue being with her, but I’m getting dangerously close to full panic mode. Could you give me some advice on how to handle this situation?

Panic Mode

Dear Panic Mode: I know that this situation is hard, but it’s not hopeless. Though it’s ultimately up to your girlfriend to want to seek help, you’re in a position to provide encouragement. The most important thing you can do right now is get her to a doctor. If she seems like a danger to herself, dial 911. If you’re not sure how to assess the situation, you can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, at 800-273-8255.

You can play an active role in her recovery long term. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, “mental health professionals are increasingly recommending couple- and family-based treatment programs.” You can find more tips by visiting https:// adaa.org.

If your partner’s depression has been documented, she might qualify to receive money from the Supplemental Security Income program or Social Security Disability Insurance. Visit https://www.ssa.gov or make an appointment at your local Social Security office for more information. Dear Annie: My husband always carries a handkerchief. When he sneezes, blows his nose or just needs to wipe it, he pulls out his hankie, uses it and then folds it back up neatly and puts it back in his pocket. It is always when we are at Mass or at a restaurant. I cringe, get all sweaty and shake my head. What does etiquette dictate that one do after using a hankie? Yuck

Dear Yuck: The proper etiquette for blowing one’s nose, whether into a handkerchief or into a tissue, is to do so in the privacy of the bathroom. As for your husband’s folding the handkerchief after using it, he should launder it soon after using it. It’d be like folding dirty clothes for the hamper.