Lonely? Isolation is likely the killer

Why are Americans so lonely?

Last year, I wrote a column that despite advances in technology that is connecting individuals and families world- wide, people seemed lonelier than ever before.

When I wrote the column, it was just an observation of what I was seeing but it resonated with many of my readers.

The bleak scope of so many seniors isolated in their homes and others withering away without visitors in nursing care facilities was an unsettling image to many readers and for others, a sad reality.

That column appeared in October and I still get an occasional email about it.

What I didn’t know at the time is that loneliness had surged into a public health crisis in some countries and this phenomenon portends a chilling look at a society that is becoming desensitized to the need for human contact.

Many seniors are lonely because in the natural order of things, time has taken loved ones, friends and associates.

And some people are clinically lonely.

But it is hard to grasp why, according to a New York Times report, nearly 40 percent of Americans say they’re lonely.

Here in the United States, more and more people are disassociating themselves from the human element, preferring to socially isolate themselves and marinate in loneliness.

“Isolation is the killer,” said Dr. Jeff Deitz, a psychiatrist on the faculty of the Frank H. Netter MD School of Medicine at Quinnipiac University. “Like malnutrition, it is a disease. It is terrible.”

And it is causing serious health problems.

Researchers say loneliness is creating physical, mental and emotional problems and putting people at greater risk of heart disease, depression, anxiety and dementia.

In a newly released study, health insurance company Cigna is reporting one of five Americans has no one they can talk to.

Cigna also is reporting the problem is getting worse as the generation that is the most technologically connected — Generation Z, those between 18 and 22 — are the loneliness of all. The study finds it is due to a decline in interactions with neighbors, co-workers and church friends.

And it is not just here. Soon after the column appeared, British Prime Minister Theresa May appointed a “loneliness minister” so lonely people can have human contact and someone who will listen to them.

May calls it “the sad reality of modern life,” noting loneliness and isolation affect nearly 9 million British citizens, with some 200,000 going up to a month without communication with another human being.

Switzerland and Germany are considering following Britain’s lead.

What are we missing here?

There are billions of us on Earth and we didn’t get this far by sheltering in place.

Just when did we, as individuals, decide that social isolation is better than camaraderie?

Just when did so many of us stop socializing with neighbors and reaching out to connect with other humans?

Humans beings are social animals. We crave and thrive on interaction with each other.

We interact at work, in our neighborhoods, supermarkets, schools and community functions.

We come together in crisis, comforting one another with real hugs, real tears, real consolation of another’s anguish. And at those times, we do so without restrictive barriers — and yet ... we’re lonelier than ever.

Some could argue in the current climate, there are too many conflicting views from too many cultures to allow for even the most basic commonality — and people may prefer to socially

What I didn’t know at the time is that loneliness had surged into a public health crisis in some countries and this phenomenon portends a chilling look at a society that is becoming desensitized to the need for human contact.

isolate themselves against change, social pressures, conflict or misunderstandings.

But it also could be argued there is simply an unwillingness within ourselves to find something greater — or different — than ourselves in order to find common ground to connect with others.

Life does challenge us and life does take away from us — but even as things change, life also gives back to us.

But we must be willing to adapt and not decapitate life and retreat as life rolls forward in new directions.

I have written before of what happens when we become disconnected from each other and “we becomes me.”

Maybe that is why so many Americans are lonely — there is too much “me” and not enough “we.”

Deitz said loneliness “is not normal” and people must be willing to fight against it by seeking new friendships, pursuing new goals, finding familiar associations and curiosity in discovering new horizons. And Deitz said it is critical to be prepared for loss — whatever that loss may be — and the challenge of filling that void.

And nothing will fill that void like face-to-face interactions with other human beings.

Inertia about being lonely will only lead people to recede deeper into that black hole where isolation waits.

But waiting in the shadows for the wings and halos to arrive is not supposed to be what life is about.

Lonely? Isolation is the silent killer.