The Middletown Press (Middletown, CT)
Sunday Gravy: World Cup the perfect storm
These cheap marketing gimmicks by global corporations are always so confusing. Let me try to get this straight. They’ve started serving pancakes at IHOb?
⏩ Bear with us for the next month. We only write about it in this space every four years. But as they once said on a classic episode of “The Simpsons” — open wide for some soccer!
⏩ The World Cup just might be my favorite sporting event. I don’t follow the sport at all, but whenever it comes around I can’t help but inhale as much as humanly possible.
So many nations. So many styles. So many stories. So much drama.
So many early-morning games! At 8 a.m. we’ll take Portugal vs. Morocco over Good Morning America every day of the week and twice on Sunday.
And since it’s only held every four years, it’s four times as meaningful as one of our Big Four sporting championships. It’s the perfect storm.
⏩ In the moment after Iceland clinched an improbable draw with Argentina on Saturday morning, Fox play-by-play man John Strong proclaimed, “Iceland beats Argentina 1-1!”
Most of the world won’t know it’s an homage to the famous headline in Harvard’s student newspaper — “Harvard beats Yale 29-29” — written after the Crimson football team’s stunning tie against a Bulldog powerhouse in 1968.
It might not be original, but we appreciate the effort.
⏩ Which is more depressing? The fact that Andy Pettitte is participating in his first Old Timer’s Day at Yankee Stadium? Or that he’s now a grandfather? Seems like only yesterday he was a promising young rookie.
⏩ Few things in sports are more irritating than professional golfers complaining about a course being too difficult. Welcome to our world, Rory.
⏩ Is it more exciting to watch a PGA tournament where everyone in the field is racking up birdies like Brett Favre on a Mississippi duck hunt? Or would you rather watch them sweat their way through rough conditions and difficult pin placements? I’ll take Phil Mickelson and 17-over every time.
⏩ Alex Ovechkin is doing yeoman’s work leading the Washington Capitals victory celebration. It’s quite possible that no championship team in history has been this drunk for this long.
⏩ Cassius Chaney’s next fight is June 30 at Mohegan Sun against Mexico’s Elder Hernandez. Chaney, who attended Old Saybrook High and starred in basketball at the University of New Haven, is 12-0 as a professional heavyweight boxer and ranked 83rd in the world.
⏩ Hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, golf analysts of the world. But Tiger’s not winning another major.
⏩ Phil’s about done, too.
⏩ It’s only mid-June and every AL East team that’s not the Yankees and Red Sox have already given up all postseason hope.
⏩ Bull Durham, released 30 years ago this week, is often referred to as one of the best sports movies ever made. There’s no denying its honest portrayal of life in the minor leagues provide some of the most memorable and funny moments in sports cinema.
“Man that ball got outta here in a hurry. I mean anything that travels that far oughta have a damn stewardess on it, don’t you think?”
But while Kevin Costner is completely believable as a minor league catcher (nice swing; from both side of the plate, too), Tim Robbins, as the lightningarmed bonus-baby, is the polar opposite. With those awful pitching mechanics there’s no chance he’d ever come close to hitting 96 on the radar gun.
Ruins it for us every time.
⏩ So what are the best sports movies of all time? Glad you asked.
6. Miracle: His brilliant portrayal of Herb Brooks is so perfect it almost makes you believe Kurt Russell should be coaching the next U.S. Olympic hockey team.
5. Friday Night Lights: The non-fictional tale of a Texas high school football power chasing a state championship was originally a book. The movie might be even better thanks to riveting performances by Billy Bob Thornton as the coach and the young actors who make up the team, most notably by the guy portraying injured running back Boobie Miles (the scene where he breaks down after cleaning out his locker is incredibly powerful.)
4. The Bad News Bears: If Bull Durham is the quintessential film about life in the minor leagues, this is the quintessential depiction of Little League. From overbearing dads pressuring pre-teens more interested in having fun to the collection of misfits who understand they’ll never be much more than bench warmers, the message holds up extraordinarily well, even if some scenes are clearly from a bygone era. (Coaches guzzling Schlitz in the dugout is frowned upon these days — though current Little League coaches, whose advice to their young players typically goes in one ear and out the other, can totally relate.)
3. Hoosiers: As much as I love this depiction of the ultimate high school basketball Cinderella story, I think what pushes this movie over the top is the incredible musical score. And the scene where Jimmy Chitwood knocks down about 30 straight jumpers in his backyard.
2. Rocky: All right, Rock-oh! Rockooooooohhhh!
1. Caddyshack: Chevy Chase, Bill Murray, Rodney Dangerfield and Ted Knight are a murderer’s row of comedic actors. You might not agree they produced the funniest sports flick ever. But there’s no denying it’s the most quotable. Because everyone, at some point in their lives, has waited until their friend is just about to putt before shouting, “NOONAN!”
⏩ That’s it for me on this Father’s Day. I’ll be christening my new sloop over at the yacht club. What are you doing? No plans, you say? How’d you like to come over and mow my lawn? Hmm? HMM?
Have a great day, dads.