Girlfriend may be cheating

Dear Annie: Earlier this week, I was swiping through a dating app, when I think I saw something really surprising and terrible. I’m about 99 percent sure I saw my buddy’s long-term girlfriend, “Becca.” Should I tell him? I’m worried that there’s a chance it’s another girl who looks exactly like his girlfriend. Also, they could be in an open thing. I want to stay friends with him, and I think hearing about potential infidelity would make him want to shoot the messenger. But I also think I’d want to know if my girl were cheating on me. What should I do?

Tinder Trouble

Dear Tinder Trouble: Be careful not to sound the fire alarm when you’re not even sure you’ve smelled smoke. It may not have been her. And if it was, there may be an innocuous reason. Some people don’t realize that just deleting the Tinder app doesn’t automatically delete their account. Or perhaps she and your friend have an open relationship, as you speculated. Or perhaps she is cheating.

You don’t know for sure. So assume that there’s an innocent explanation, and innocently bring it up with your friend. He can do with that information what he will.

Dear Annie: I lost my sweetheart of 55 years last summer. A two-year battle with esophageal cancer reduced the love of my life to a shell of her former self. I held her hand as she passed.

After staring out the window for a while and listening to a few folks tell me how I was going to feel and what I had to do, I decided that this whole thing was bigger than just me — that my family members and tons of friends just lost her, too, and they were grieving also. I decided to join them every chance I got. I traveled over 6,000 miles visiting family and friends to share our love for this wonderful woman. I’ve entertained dozens at our home to celebrate and toast our love of her. In fact, since Thanksgiving, I have lost four friends and family members and have attended their funerals. One friend had the same terrible disease as my wife. I’ve found peace in helping his spouse as she navigates her way through the financial and legal mumbo-jumbo that comes with this horrible loss.

I miss my honey every day. But as my daughter tells me, “she’s up there listening.” I realize that she would want me to carry on. Don From Michigan

Dear Don: How beautiful that you reached out to so many in your time of grief and let empathy be a healing balm.