The Middletown Press (Middletown, CT)

Please consider being an organ donor to save lives

- Annie Lane

Dear Annie: Last year, I wrote to you about my beautiful 35-year-old daughter and the kidney transplant she’d just received through the United Network for Organ Sharing. I am “A Very Grateful Mom.”

However, all is not good with her family. My teenage granddaugh­ter has now been diagnosed with the same rare kidney disease her mother, my daughter, was diagnosed with. Although we know that it’s a rare genetic one, we have no idea where it came from through the family. This disease has no cure. The only solution is a transplant when kidney function declines to that point. Our hope is that it will be years before my granddaugh­ter will need a transplant.

Please remind your readers about how important it is to be an organ donor. One of the first things I did after my daughter’s successful transplant (and witnessing how much better she felt) was to check the box on my driver’s license.

Still a Very Grateful Mom

Dear Grateful Mom: I am so incredibly sorry to hear about your granddaugh­ter. I’m glad to encourage readers to consider registerin­g as organ donors, if they haven’t already. A single organ donor has the potential to save eight lives. Visit https://www.dmv.org/organ-donor.php for more informatio­n.

Dear Annie: A friend of mine is getting married next year. The wedding and reception will be held at a lovely venue. Is it appropriat­e to request that guests attending wear appropriat­e attire? It seems everyone is dressing so casually these days; there is concern that guests might wear jeans. We realize it is the presence of friends and family that really matters, but is it asking too much to expect folks to wear their nicer clothes? B.H.

Dear B.H.: True, everything is getting more casual these days — but jeans at a wedding? I should hope no one’s that dense. Fortunatel­y, there’s no need to leave it up to hope. Your friend can simply note the dress code on the invitation. The standard options, from most to least formal: white tie, black tie, formal, dressy casual and casual (and even “casual” definitely does not mean bluejeans). Letting guests know the appropriat­e attire is not asking too much; it’s helpful for everyone.

Dear Annie: “Judged in Jarvis” wrote to you about the troubles she’s faced because of her husband’s unexpected death and their not having a will. She encouraged readers to make wills, and you did, too. My father died in 1990, and he had a will. After his death, it was probated. The court costs, executor fees and lawyer fees ate up 60 percent of his estate. I was determined not to let that happen to my children. I got a revocable living trust instead. Upon my death, all my property will go to my children as beneficiar­ies. There will be no lawyer fees. And it cost me less than a third of what my father’s probate cost. So please advise your readers in the future to get a living trust instead of a will. Christine

Dear Christine: You make a good point. I’d like to encourage readers to do their research and consider which option is best for them. Whether using a living trust or a will, the important part is to get started on planning well before you think you need to.

Send your questions to askthedoct­ors@mednet.ucla. edu, or write: Ask the Doctors, c/o Media Relations, UCLA Health, 924 Westwood Blvd., Suite 350, Los Angeles, CA, 90095..

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