A reader is caught between two very different men

Dear Annie: I am seeing two men. “Mack” is around my age, and we’ve been dating for about a year. “John” is a married man and quite a bit older. Mack turned what I thought was a casual relationship into something serious when he proposed to me. I said yes because I felt pressured and his entire family was there when he asked me. With John, it’s purely physical. I can’t help but feel that older men know their way around better, and John drives me absolutely crazy in the best way. Every time I’m with Mack, I yearn for John. Mack doesn’t kiss me the right way, hold me the right way or make love to me the right way. There is no passion between us, and he’s practical and dull. When I’m with John, there is sexual tension and fervor. The secrecy of sneaking around behind his wife’s back drives us both wild. I want to be with John. I feel guilty for cheating, but not guilty enough to stop. I don’t want to break Mack’s heart, but I also don’t want to live every day in a humdrum fog. What should I do?

Three’s Company

Dear Three’s Company: If you keep holding your breath waiting for John to leave his wife, you’re going to kill quite a few brain cells. Quit this sordid affair. Next on your to-do list is to end your engagement. Mack deserves a chance to find true love. Then I suggest you take a break from dating to reflect on why you’d force yourself to choose between settling for a “humdrum fog” and going for a married man. Dear Annie: I got a DWI and started going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. After a few years, I realized that the main reason to continue to go was the friendships I had made. So I started welcoming new attendees to the meetings.

I have had several of them tell me that the reason they continue to go to meetings is to see me. I feel so good about being able to help them recover their lives. That and being able to hang out with my grandchildren make retirement the best part of my life. Just wanted to share. Phil

Dear Phil: Congratulations on your years of sobriety. It sounds as though you’re a beacon of hope.