Man wonders if he should share feelings with friend

Dear Annie: I’m a 31-yearold man, and I believe I’m in love with my friend. It’s been a year now that I’ve been feeling this way about her, but I haven’t expressed my feelings. At first, the reason was that she was in a relationship with a man for a long time. I never made a move because I didn’t want to cause problems for them. They broke up late last year (for reasons having nothing to do with me).

Now that my friend is single, I don’t know whether I should tell her how I feel. Is it still too early for her to start a new relationship?

Lover and Friend

Dear Lover: You can’t yank cupid’s arrow from your heart, no matter how hard you try. So it’s really not a matter of if you should tell her how you feel but when. I concede your point that it might be early for her to consider another steady, serious relationship, so perhaps wait it out for another month. But don’t wait too long — or you’ll be standing on the sidelines once again, wondering what might have been.

If she ends up feeling the same way, fantastic! And if not, at least you’ll know and can begin moving on.

Dear Annie: At the outset, I have to congratulate you for producing a valuable audiobook. Is there a downside to listening to an audiobook totally engrossed in the subject that you begin to forget that you are still in charge of a 3,000- to 4,000-pound behemoth? I have heard about the possible dangers of taking even hands-off telephone calls while driving, but I don’t know about listening to audiobooks. I would not consider listening to music the same as attentively listening to a topic on audiobook.

Haridas KV

Dear Haridas: It turns out that it depends what the driving conditions are. A 2018 study found that in simple driving situations — i.e., less traffic and calmer surroundings — listening to the audiobook actually improved drivers’ reaction times. But in more complex environments

— i.e., more traffic, busier surroundings — listening to an audiobook worsened drivers’ reaction times. So if you’re planning a long trip with plenty of open road, then listen away. If you’re navigating busy streets, then stick to music or silence.