The Middletown Press (Middletown, CT)
Anxiety? The danger is in the paranoia
I now know how people feel who can’t get to their loved ones who are sick in hospitals, dying in hospice or trapped in nursing homes or prisons. And I can tell you, it is the most helpless, heart-wrenching reality anyone can experience when closed borders don’t allow you to reach out and touch.
I am one of those people who is good in an emergency situation because I don’t lose my cool and I don’t panic during the tense moments of a crisis situation.
But I admit, the unknown factors of COVID-19 have inched my anxiety up a notch and I lost my cool this week.
What happened only emphasizes the need for people to remain calm and not allow paranoia to overcome them even as the virus spreads.
But it also emphasizes how crippling the coronavirus is to families and loved ones across the nation.
It was the words of an officer from the Providence Police Department in Rhode Island on Wednesday that painted a bleak picture of what some people are facing, and drove home the terrifying reality of COVID-19.
“Sir, I have to be frank. I hate to tell you but if she has tested positive for the coronavirus, we won’t go near her. We don’t have the protective gear. We are not equipped for that.”
I don’t want anyone to experience the fear that gripped me after hearing those words when I thought my sister was lying feverish in her bed without the strength to call for help.
I now know how people feel who can’t get to their loved ones who are sick in hospitals, dying in hospice or trapped in nursing homes or prisons.
And I can tell you, it is the most helpless, heartwrenching reality anyone can experience when closed borders don’t allow you to reach out and touch.
The sister we thought had weathered a potential exposure to the virus after being self-quarantined as directed for two weeks, with no symptoms, now has the virus.
Like many families, we are using technology through texts, email and video conferencing to stay in touch in this era of social distancing.
She informed us of this Tuesday morning during our normal texting exchange. She said overall, she felt fine and we spent the better part of the day just exchanging thoughts about the crisis in general and what we were doing to weather it.
My sister had been out of touch for about 14 hours when I began to worry;
Columnist James Walker says people need to remain calm and not allow paranoia to overcome them even as the coronavirus spreads.
when she hadn’t answered texts or phone calls by the 16th hour, I imagined the worst.
That’s when paranoia mixed with emotions got the better of me and I dialed the Police Department. It is the one place you don’t want to call and find help is not on the way.
The officer said he knew I was worried and it was a call they were frequently getting. He advised me the Fire Department did have protective gear and maybe they could help, and transferred me to fire dispatch.
After I supplied some information, I was assured firefighters would check on my sister and call me back.
This is what happened
next from my sister’s perspective.
“I was sleeping. I turn my phone off so I can sleep. They broke down my porch doors. Im not mad but Im not dying. I have to go make coffee. I was in a dead sleep and they were banging. Im still shaking. I just need coffee so i can stop shaking.”
OK, I overreacted and felt like a fool; but the only thing I am sorry about is I wasted the time of first responders.
My sister is heavily involved in Providence’s community theater scene. She said it was like a scene from a Hollywood movie as firefighters in haz-mat gear entered, yelling her name.
We now have a standing agreement that she texts by a certain time and yes, we will probably laugh about this at Thanksgiving.
My only defense is these are not normal times and I would never have forgiven myself if I didn’t make the call and regretted it later.
But my sister also brought in the reality of the other side of COVID-19 that isn’t being played up in the media: “Im not dying,” she said.
And I guess that is the part we seem to forget: there are more people living through than dying from COVID-19 — and our health care workers and first responders are doing their best to ensure that we
live to tell what happened.
Mine is just one of the personal stories that will be told in the aftermath of COVID-19 and, so far, despite my paranoia, it has a happy ending.
But for many families here in Connecticut and across the nation, the ending will leave nothing but an empty gap.
Anxiety? The danger is in the paranoia.