The NFL just can’t leave well enough alone

SAN DIEGO — With apologies to Cole Porter, I get a kick out of the NFL.

Now that “Moneyball” already is taken, there will come a day when football simply will be called “ball.”

The foot will be taken out of it. Kickers will be free to pursue their true calling, on the soccer fields of the world.

The National Fiddle League simply cannot stop tinkering with a game that has brought in billions — and as we all know, where the NFL goes, colleges usually tailgate.

It steadily has been working on the elimination of the kickoff return, which can be the most exciting — and demoralizing event — in sports. As the strength of kickers’ legs progress, rules may have them kicking off from ticket offices before they disappear forever.

It fully was expected last week the bosses would approve a rule that would allow an alternative to the onside kick, which has been neutered now that kickoff teams can’t run forward before the ball is kicked.

The rule would have given two chances per game for a team to replace an onside kick with one down, from its own 25-yard line, to run a play and, if it gained at least 15 yards, it would keep possession.

The owners tabled it — a good thing for a change, because tabling usually means its DOA. But they’ll be back with another bad idea.

In 2019, 63 onside kicks were attempted, eight converted, while seven fourthand-15 plays were tried, one successful.

I strongly believe that, if a team plays like crap and gets behind, it shouldn’t be given a mulligan. Play better.

I’m no fan of kickers, but they are necessary. Will we go back to the days when there was no punter, just a guy touching down the ball and then throwing it?

The kickoff is going to get itself killed. For certain.

Meanwhile, one of the NFL’s best decisions — replaying pass interference — has been dumped after one season of complete ineptitude.

League VP Troy Vincent now says the NFL “failed miserably” in implementing pass interference rules in 2019. He said this should serve as a cautionary tale not to rush rule changes into the book.

It had nothing to do with rushing in a rules change. It had everything to do with incompetence in enforcing it.

For a reason.

The rule wasn’t prosecuted simply because they didn’t want it enforced; they never wanted it in the first place. Not this many people, supposedly educated, supposedly football-schooled, could be so stupid and vision-impaired.

They can’t get pass interference right, never have, and, it can be the most severe on-the-field penalty in sports.

Worst of all, the bosses once again Gale Sayersed the sky judge issue. All a sky judge would do is help get things right, but of course the owners have dodged the idea, tabled it, no doubt hoping for more screwups (the way it was proposed, sky judges weren’t going to have enough clout, anyway).

Former zebra and ESPN officiating analyst John Parry says he’d like to see sky judges be experienced on the field, people “who have walked in my shoes.”

I’d like to see people gifted with eyesight and spines.

The NFL is bent on overcorrecting what is correct and undercorrecting what needs to be corrected.

Santiago Mejia / The Chronicle Members of the Detroit Lions line up for the kickoff during a game against the Raiders.