Five things that I learned thanks to COVID

It’s been seven months since COVID-19 grounded us all. No visits to family and friends, no going out to eat, no travel. And then there’s the anxiety that accompanies once-innocuous actives like grocery shopping, bringing in the mail and answering the door.

But it hasn’t been all bad. Here are five things I have learned thanks to COVID:

Everything I need is in my Basement: When I have to do something around the house, I typically get in the car and head to the hardware store. No more. Now I check my basement first. More often than not, I find what I need. Take my garden gate. I had to build a new one. I scoured the basement and discovered all the necessary materials — wood, wire, nails, paint, a saw, etc.

That has happened repeatedly since March. A crowbar to pull apart some boards? Found one. Tarps to cover my roof when the August tornado destroyed my garage (that’s another story)? Folded up and ready to go. Seeds to plant my garden? I had paper bags of them.

I attribute it to living in the same house for 20 years. Human beings are pack rats no matter how hard we try to be otherwise.

“The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” is more relevant than ever:

With access to libraries and bookstores restricted, I turned to my book shelves and reread Huckleberry Finn. I was amazed — and disturbed — by the similarities between Huck’s world and today’s. The racism, hucksterism, hypocrisy, anti-intellectualism, greed, naiveté and casual violence Mark Twain satirized so brilliantly are all on full display in 2020 America

Everyone remembers the river and the prodigious use of the “n” word. But the part that struck me most was the King and the Duke, the con men who accompany Huck and Jim for most of their journey down the river. They go from town to town running one scam after another, bamboozling and fleecing gullible locals who fall for their schemes every time. The pair are eerily similar to the grifters who dominate so much of our present- day economy, culture and politics. It’s hard to look at the explosive growth of QAnon, the refusal to follow science and the reemergence of racism and not see powerful echos of what Twain wrote about 135 years ago.

“Barney Miller” was a great TV show: Needing a break from the constant drumbeat of bad news, my wife and I replaced the news with “Barney Miller” reruns. For those of you under 55, the late 1970s comedy is set in a New York City detective squad room.

We’d both watched it as teenagers and were pleasantly surprised by how funny and relevant it still is. Plots take on sexism, domestic violence, prostitution, gentrification and drug use (one of the funniest episodes is when the detectives unknowingly consume a batch of hash- laced brownies) while somehow managing to be very funny. Through it all, the detectives and especially the wise Captain Miller practice what would be called today community policing to dispense justice and cool tempers.

How to make Mom’s pie crust:

My mother baked the best pies I’ve ever had. Before she died, she tried to teach me to make one, but I’d never mastered it.

Stuck at home, I became determined to finally get it down. Mom’s recipe is unusual. The dough doesn’t go into the fridge like virtually every recipe I’ve looked at. You just roll it out right away. I don’t know why she did it that way, but I suspect it was impatience. She would have much rather been reading or doing research. At the age of 18, she fled the tiny Iowa town where she grew up to go to college, eventually earning a Ph. D. in art history and becoming a college professor. Whenever she baked or cooked, it was get- it- over-withquick.

I tried and tried without success until I found myself with unsalted butter I’d bought by accident. It turned out to be the key. I finally produced a pie almost as good as mom’s. The odd thing is, she used salted butter. I can only conclude it was some sort of alchemy.

A negroni is the perfect cocktail: Early in the pandemic, Stanley Tucci, one of my favorite actors, posted a Twitter video on making a negroni. I’ve never been a big mixeddrink guy, but I gave it a try.

Wow. To my taste, it’s the perfect cocktail. I suddenly found myself imbibing more nights than I care to say. It was the prefect salve for depressing COVID news. My wife — God bless her — has indulged my new predilection. “It’s a pandemic,” she says with a shrug whenever I agonize over breaking out the fix’ins.

I figure we’ve got at least another six months to a year to go. What else can I learn? A good French bread would be a start. And how to start my tomato plants early is another. You’ve got to make the best of it.

File photo A scene from the ABC Television Network’s “Barney Miller.” Hal Linden, right, stars as Barney Miller, Ron Glass, center, as Harris, and Steve Landesberg as Dietrich.