The Middletown Press (Middletown, CT)
CT man shares story of faith in new book
GREENWICH — As a thirdgeneration son of Chickahominy who has been involved in local politics and civic organizations his whole life — it’s no surprise that many people in Greenwich know Dave D’Andrea.
But they might not know his deep personal struggles. D’Andrea has fought illnesses throughout his life, from a childhood battle with polio, through lung disease and diabetes to a bout with rectal cancer that nearly killed him. And he has known trauma, suffering as a 13-year-old victim of sexual abuse by a priest, a memory he repressed it until the worldwide church scandal brought it back.
D’Andrea relives all in a new memoir titled “Teardrops.” While struggle is a theme of the book, it takes a back seat to another: Faith.
On the cover, it says, “Enjoy life, trust in God.” No matter what his struggles have been, D’Andrea said he has never lost it. He said he hopes to inspire people to believe in something larger than themselves.
“I want people to realize that it doesn’t matter what faith you are,” he said. “Catholic. Jewish. Buddhist. Whatever. I don’t ever preach politics or religion to my own kids so I don’t believe in that. But everyone can and should pray. Whatever you choose as your prayer.
“I never lost my faith during all of this, and I want people to see that and understand it.”
The betrayal of a trusted priest still weighs heavily on D’Andrea, even at age 69. He has been helped in coming to terms with the abuse by Diocese of Bridgeport Bishop Frank Caggiano, who asked D’Andrea to be a part of his Hope and Healing Committee.
“The faith didn’t do it to me, that individual did it to me,” D’Andrea said. “That’s who I lost my trust in. And a lot of people questioned their faith in priests, too. The majority of them are very good and are willing to help you, like in every profession. But there was a bad apple and it was a painful process.
“I want people to know that in the pain and suffering, in the very darkest days, and there were dark days after radiation and chemo for the cancer, that you can get through this with faith,” he said.
In some of those darkest, as he lost 60 pounds and was too weak to get out of bed, D’Andrea said he found himself asking God why he didn’t take him, because he didn’t think he could handle it anymore.
Those prayers do not always get answers, he said, but this time it was his late mother who came to him.
“She said to me, ‘You’ve got a lot to do,’” D’Andrea said.
The book took him nearly six months to write and was his main focus during the first months of the COVID-19 pandemic. The slim paperback, which is replete with Bible passages of personal significance to D’Andrea, is meant to be a quick read that can hopefully inspire people during their own challenges, he said.