The Middletown Press (Middletown, CT)
On keeping our grandparents as close as we can
Throughout my elementary school career, my maternal grandfather, or “Grandfather” as I called him, was a part of my everyday life. If he were alive, he would tell you, “I raised Stacy.” We spent a lot of time together when he lived in Hamden, until he moved to Indiana after he retired. He said it was a less expensive place to live.
This state is the eighth worst state to retire in, according to a recent article published by Hearst Connecticut Media Group. The article was based on a report published by WalletHub, which used affordability, quality of life and health care as criteria for the ratings. Affordability was noted as the biggest factor for Connecticut coming in eighth place.
Huge commercial trucks pulled up in front of Grandfather’s house. I watched helplessly as the movers lifted and hauled his sturdy brown furniture and boxes into their vehicles. I didn’t realize that I’d only see him on three more occasions for the rest of our lives. I was about 12 years old. I didn’t know that people don’t always keep in touch the way they intend to. I would have asked Grandfather to stay here in Connecticut. I never imagined a life without him.
Grandfather was an active granddad. My parents dropped me off at his house in the mornings before school. He made me anything I wanted for breakfast. I often asked for pancakes or for leftovers from the country-style dinner and dessert he cooked the night before. On snow days, I stayed at his house. He’d make me a grilled cheese sandwich, and we’d turn on “The Price is Right.” We also went to church together, ate ice cream together and took piano lessons together. He introduced me to other shows like “Mama’s Family,” “Matlock” and “Columbo.” The first time I watched “The Wizard
of Oz” was at his home on West Woods Road.
I visited Grandfather three times in Indianapolis. The last time I saw him was at my wedding in 2009. I remember him telling the other guests, “I raised Stacy.” He was proud.
After living in Indianapolis for several years, he moved to Texas with my aunt. While he was in town for the wedding, we got close to convincing him to move back to Connecticut. He died the next year, before I got to find out if he was seriously considering it.
I’ve often wondered what would have happened if he would have stayed here. I wondered how I might be a different person if he lived nearby during my high school years. I wonder if he would still be living. I wonder if he had any regrets about his move like I did.
My Grandfather had the resources to move to places that better fit his lifestyle. I just hate that our state’s cost of living impacted my relationship with him and continues to impact other families more than 10 years later.
Stacy Graham-Hunt is a national-award winning columnist and author, who writes about race and culture. She is passionate about Black people telling their own stories. Email her at stacygrahamhunt@gmail.com or follow her on social media @stacyreports.