In-laws’ real estate deal comes with restrictions

Dear Abby: I am a newlywed. My husband and I are looking for a house to settle down in, but we’re struggling to find one we like that we can afford. My in-laws offered to sell us their house for a very generous price, but it’s old and outdated and has HVAC and plumbing problems.

I think the house would be the perfect place for my husband and me to raise a family if we had some renovations made. However, in-laws are very against having any renovations made to it. My husband is happy to buy it and not have the renovations made, but I’m not so sure. What should I do?

House Hunter in California

Dear House Hunter: You and your husband should talk with your in-laws together. While I understand their sentimental attachment to the house, they are being unrealistic and controlling. If they were to sell it to strangers, you can bet the first thing that would happen would be renovations. HVAC, plumbing, electrical and roof problems cost a fortune to keep fixing over time if they are not dealt with. Don’t they want their grandchildren raised in a nice, safe home in a great neighborhood? I Dear Abby: I’m a veteran with a nonservice-connected back injury. I need artificial discs between several vertebrae. The hospitals and clinics ignored my condition for the past 25 years. I will have an MRI soon. My fiancee is a nurse and does not have the money for the operation

I need. A wealthy female friend has offered to fund it. Should I ask my fiancee for permission since this friend is a woman?

Getting a Chance in Oklahoma

Dear Getting: You should definitely clear it with your fiancee. If she loves you, she will agree that you are fortunate to have such a generous friend. However, if she’s insecure, you will then have to decide which is more important — your health or your relationship. I know which one I’d choose.

Dear Abby: My collegeage daughter who still lives with me is addicted to caffeine. I am considering slowly replacing the regular coffee with decaf without telling her. I don’t want to tell her, as this may get in her head, and she may react by having withdrawal symptoms. I don’t think she would be angry. What do you think?

Mom With a Plan

Dear Mom: Have enough respect for your collegeage daughter to tell her the amount of coffee she consumes is a concern for you. Then ask if she would like your help to cut back. Withdrawal symptoms from caffeine are real, and your daughter might wonder what’s wrong when she experiences symptoms of withdrawal if you keep her in the dark.