Giving to charity without encouraging more mail

Dear Miss Manners: I make regular donations to several charities, and receive regular solicitations from them in the mail, as well as from others that I have never heard of. I have decided to use my stimulus check to donate to a few different charities on a one-time-only basis, but that means that I will probably start getting solicitations from them, too.

I hate the thought that my contributions will go to pay for postage and printing, not actual work. Is there any practical way to make sure my money isn’t used for further solicitations?

Gentle Reader: Perhaps you can suggest that they start using electronic mail instead. Or as a contributor, make your donation contingent on being used only for a specific and worthy purpose.

Dear Miss Manners: I have a friend who recently changed her look pretty drastically. She likes it: It’s cute, sassy and low-maintenance, the trifecta!

She works in an office where there are repeat clients that she’s known for some time. A surprising number of them think it’s OK to comment negatively on her new look: “You butchered your hair!” “Oh! What does your husband think?” and more.

Any advice for something polite but pointed so she can indicate that some of these comments are unkind and unnecessary?

Gentle Reader: “Oh, I am sorry to hear that. I love it and think that I will keep it, if you don’t mind.”

Dear Miss Manners: My girlfriend of one year and I disagree on the subject of exchanging gifts. We are both in our 70s. We both have everything that we need or want. I feel that we should forgo exchanging gifts, but she seems to want to give gifts.

Gentle Reader: Indulge in an event or meal that can be shared.

But since you asked, Miss Manners’ opinion is that you stop trying to dissuade the lady from displaying affection.