Friends doesn’t share snacks, drinks at movies
Dear Miss
Manners :Iam a 63-year-old woman, and I met a friend (another 63-year-old woman) through a Bible study group four years ago. A week ago, we went to a movie theater.
She brought out snacks and a drink for herself.
I would have never done that; I would have brought her a drink and snacks. I had picked her up and driven to the theater.
Pre-pandemic, she and her husband and daughter would go away for vacations — sometimes one week, sometimes two weeks. I would feed her cat twice a day and water the yard. She offered me $20/day and I declined, saying that friends do not take money from friends. I never was paid for taking care of her cat and yard, but one time she took me out to lunch as a thank-you, and one time she gave me a pair of gardening gloves. When her father-in-law passed less than a year ago, I over a pie. I had never met her father-inlaw, and only met her husband a few times.
So, with this long explanation above, my question is: What do you think of my “friend” bringing her own snack to a movie theater and eating in front of me? Am I making much ado about nothing?
Gentle Reader:
Having established that you are the better and more selfless friend, you might want to consider also being the more tolerant friend. As such, you might consider other possibilities for the transgression — ones that do not end with the intentional mistreatment of you.
Perhaps your friend was not sharing because she was being mindful of the risk of spreading disease. Or she knew she was violating movie theater rules by bringing in outside food, and did not wish to incriminate you. Or she somehow misinterpreted your rule about not taking money from friends and thought that it extended to her hummus platter and lemonade.
Or she was just being rude. But giving a friend the benefit of the doubt is essential in a close relationship such as yours.